House Dreams

I have been having crazy dreams the last few nights.

Before I tell you about them, I want to let you know that our old house sold. There is a new family in OUR the house. On one hand, I'm glad it was only empty a few months (I'd like to think that is because we took such good care of it and left it carefully too) because that is good for our neighbors with a foreclosed house in their midst. It sold the day the bank auctioned it in September, and the buyer simply resold it for a profit. I've heard bits and pieces about the family that has moved in it.

From all appearances, it seems to be a single mother and her two children.  How courageous of her to buy a foreclosure because they can be such a money pit! I pray our home was a wonderful surprise to her and its "good bones" provide a blessed shelter to her and her family as it did to us as our first real home. I wish them well, very much.

That said...I'd give almost anything to have it back...I loved LOVE that house!

(Click on words to visit various pictures if you wish - just scroll through the old posts to see them)

I loved all the wood details our home has - original hardwood floors, a sweet chair rail up the stairs and the upstairs hallway with great older home details. I loved our fireplace! I loved the creaking floor and the brick outside.  I loved having an entry way by the front door to welcome guests. We had an incredible backyard. We made so many treasured memories in our back yard. I loved the projects we did manage to accomplish around the the house amid having babies, homeschooling, and lots of long work days!  It is the first home our children will remember or were born into.

I loved my children had a magical place to be children, with friends, and alone:

Even little Gift made it in the picture above - check the door!

A rainy day CHEERS!!!! What rich blessings these moments are...

I will struggle with letting go of my first real domestic haven, my domestic church playground. I have been reminded that what really matters in this life is the family God has blessed me with. The rest is material (well, my head gets that...my heart is struggling to play catch up). Just as the church is the Body of Christ, my domestic church is my amazing family, not the house. While we will put down roots again, I will always treasure this reminder that family is first before anything else.

It will just be hard to move on from such a cherished vessel for my family. Sigh. But I know God has wonderful plans for us. 

Oh - I mentioned I've been having crazy house dreams! Goodness, have I. I can tell it is totally me finally processing our house loss now that the new family has moved in. I had told my friends that I had a feeling the grief would hit when someone finally moved in. After we moved out, we actually had access to it before the locks were changed for a few weeks (so much for the Monday deadline they gave. Ugh). Hubby and I did yard work a few times to keep it looking good for the neighbors. I made sure I said goodbye (a few times) inside the house. After the house was locked by the bank, I sometimes would wander into the back yard. I'm sentimental that way. I would just savor hearing the trees I loved whistle in the breeze, with the soft rustling of the leaves. I would sit in the grass. I even brought little Gift a few times to wander in the back yard since we were thrust out before he could really enjoy the yard as a toddler. I wanted him to create some moments there. I took pictures, but I'm not ready to share them yet. I would think back on fond memories and pretend I was back enjoying the closeness of our housing location with S next door, right through the fence. I whispered many silent goodbyes with a lumpy throat...

As of this week, I can no longer do any of that. With this family officially moving in, it now feels official. Tears come at odd moments. Because we still are at S's house for playdates, I see the house often, and see the changes this family is making. It's odd - I both like being able to witness the changes (I like when S txt's me updates), and seeing them makes me sad. Especially since they are making some changes that offer more protection to the house, but seem to make it feel less welcoming/ready to open its arms. Windows are shuttered that were not before...it is strange for me to see when I pull in S' driveway! For the new owners, they are simply making it home (and remember - she is a single mom - she has to be safe!). It's just so much to take in for my heart.

So...I KNOW this is all leading to the dreams. I've had about 3 big dreams I can remember vividly. All 3 of the dreams involve us realizing things we owned were left in the house and Hubby and I are sneaking in to get our stuff when the new owners (who, by the way, are NEVER the people who have moved in!) are gone. Mind you, nothing was left in the house. Our friends packed us well! Movers came to move us out. But the dreams are almost comical.

Dream 1 - We find ourselves missing key items in our current condo. We drive back to the house and look into the windows. We see the new owners using our table, chairs, couches, etc.  We then break in to get these items back - because they bought our house, not our stuff! It is dark when we lug things out of our house...

Dream 2 - The night of the time change I had this dream. Much of the dream takes place in the later evening with the extended daylight granted us in "Springing Ahead". We learn an older couple has moved into the house. Around this time I get this feeling we left something. So, Hubby and I find we can enter the back door, and we go to the master bedroom. There we find all my school year books on my old dresser. So, we struggle to get these out of the house before they get home. Of course, it seems I have 1000 yearbooks. They catch us, and we try to explain our actions. I have no idea what happened after that...lol I forget...

Dream 3 - This was last night's dream. I dreamed that the family who moved in our home was the former YAM minister in our city I knew over 10 years ago. She apparently has been living in our home a while, long enough to turn the front yard into an English garden, and add a huge fountain and garden in the back yard. She also had gotten to know all my friends. I swear, this dream was packed with friends from all walks of my life. She was hosting a birthday party for her son, so all my friends were there, and I was invited as well. As the dream went on, the house became less and less like my house, as I would discover the addition of 2 grand staircases, and a basement. I remember walking through the house seeing all the changes (floor to ceiling wallpaper, curtains, etc) and missing how we had decorated. It's decor was very French. Then I heard my friends all saying how amazed they were that I had come to the party and faced my old home! Then, in the funniest part of the dream, I ended up in the basement with owner's grandfather. He was surrounded by much of our stuff  that was accidentally left behind- smaller things like decorative boxes (which I've never had, BTW), books, chairs, and other decorative items. I spend the remainder of the dream/birthday party stealing back my stuff when I think no one is looking, (under my shirt at times!) taking it back to my car. I remember dragging away lawn chairs as people stood up from them and taking them to my car. ROTF!!! The owner caught me, and I think we made some sort of deal for our stuff...

Anyone want to be a dream reader? LOL! What do my dreams mean? HA!

So, I'm having house dreams. I know home is where the heart is. We've grown so much in this process, and have been so blessed to rebuild in our condo, but I think for a few days - my heart is where my home was. And, I think as long as it comes back - it's 'ok' for it to visit the old 'hood for a few days of remembrance.


Dearest heart and restless spirit - come "home" soon....

 Perfection in Triplicate - The children enjoying a gorgeous fall morning

under one of our favorite trees in our treasured back yard. This will be 

a place my mind will always return and remember the rustling leaves, grass

bowing to the wind, sun on our faces, and how refreshed our souls were

surrounded seasonally by the nature in our backyard.  It will always

be a peaceful and "safe" place in my mind and heart.