Friday Five and Flashback Fridays!

1. Let's just get right to it....who watched the Grey's Anatomy finale?? HELLO??!!! The writers were obviously in positive creative overdrive...what a STORY LINE!!! I went into the episode completely unspoiled, so WHAT A RIDE, and how do I make it till the next season and the premier? AHHH!!!! Did you hear my "Ahhhhh's!!" at your house?

2. Do not. I repeat. Do not EVER go to a Trader Joe's on an empty stomach. EVAH! You'll end up helping out the economy with your own personal bailout spending plan. We went for the first time tonight to get some wine, etc for an Italian themed Supper Club dinner party at out house Saturday, and went about crazy there with yummy and healthy organic and AFFORDABLE foods. Another big plus, especially for a dinner party? 2 Buck Chuck! Another cute moment? Lovely finding out they have metal, kid sized shopping carts!!! She was so proud of herself pushing and shopping with her own cart. She's never pushed a kid sized cart to our knowledge - GASP! She walked with a purpose. It was TOO CUTE!! This picture didn't capture her smile, but she was so into her cart:

3. Today I'll be cleaning, cleaning, and cleaning. I have to admit that one side effect of having new people over makes one get a very clean and organized house. I'm sure though I'll crash with tiredness on Sunday after church lol. But, I hope to squeeze in a nap at some point today. I was feeling VERY tired yesterday - I needed one!

4. We experimented with the dinner we will be making Saturday, and it turned out pretty good. It will be Spinach Manicotti alla Romana. It's a multi pan dish which is not my forte, so I wanted to practice. It was yummy. I hope our Supper group likes it. In any case, it has been nice to get to know new, and old, friends from our church and share some fellowship, faith, and food! We hope to eat dinner outside, and maybe even use some tiki torches as the sun sets. We always have wanted to do the torches, but when we host, we tend to have lots of kids around, and fire isn't really safe - but this will be a kid free dinner, so bring on the fire!!! And bug spray....LOL.

5. Our water heater does not heat. The light's out on it. I was trying to find out how safe it would be for us to relight it, but it seems pretty dangerous because we have a contained water heater. So, we now have 'No Rinse' Shampoo for quick, non freezing hair washing and no rinse body wash for a quick sponge bath. The water is super cold, and it seems Monday is the earliest any professional can come fix/relight. Whoa....we'll just use this time to appreciate the comforts of life. It's good to be reminded at times not to take things for granted. We have it so easy compared to others!! Brrrrr! Plus, God has a sense of humor, right? He's keeping it real! lol

***I'll give more details when I can, but I got to meet another blogger yesterday! How cool!!***

From Scary Mommy - "You know those posts that you wrote way back when only your mother was reading? The ones you wish actual people had read? That’s what Flashback Fridays are for. Don’t have any? How about that old story or photo that you could never find a reason to post? Don’t be shy! Republish it today...play along!"

I only recently started blogging, but I'll play along as I can. Maybe with photos at some point. I LOVE old pics. Here is a post from a sarcastic day.

Click here for 'Hugged a Rhino Lately?"

TGIF!!!!

Friday Five and Flashback Fridays!

Hello!

Today is sooooo nice! I'm still in my PJs, woke up with BOTH my girls safe in our bed, and knowing today is a day of REST. No excuses. I'm very appreciative after this long, emotional, week. Valiant is sleeping her "morning" nap pretty late, and Lovely is relaxing here with me. She's doing really well. She's sore, but the medication helps, as well as ice cream, yogurt, pudding, and popsicles! My parents are also recouping well from their procedures this week - so all around, we are lucky, blessed folks this week!

Ahem: on to the Friday Five....

1. I need an escape!!!! Does anyone else ever feel that way? This week has messed with me. I was more concerned about my parents than I really knew I was, and of course Lovely's surgery with anesthesia had Hubby and I concerned. But we were surrounded by amazing family and friends who called, prayed, or e-mailed to check in, watched our kids for us, or just listen. I've never been more tired (or, ok, I have known this tired feeling, but pack on a dose of concern and it is more tiring lol) and this week did a number on me! So, what's the best escape and mental vacation from events and decisions good and bad this week? Why, TREKKING of course! When hubby gets home from work, I'm leaving the kids with him and "boldly going" with some friends for a quick break and see the new movie STAR TREK at an Imax theatre. I'm hoping it is entertaining and a nice escape to help me "Live Long, and Prosper!" - HA!!!

2. So, silly me missed the online sign up for a 5K race tomorrow - but I can still sign up in the morning pre-race. Do you think I'll still get a T-shirt? I wouldn't be running if I couldn't attend so easily - and Lovely will be resting and sleeping in, so I might be back to get Val before she wakes up. After the race, there is a parade my mommy group usually walks in, but I'm not sure who all can be here since it is Mother's Day weekend and some are traveling. If we don't march, it works out for me since I should probably get home to Lovely. But, depending on the weather and if Valiant needs to get out, maybe I'll just take her. We'll see. I'm totally open and flexible to whatever happens. I could easily cuddle and nap with my girls ALL weekend!

3. Yesterday at the end of my post I asked how people forgive themselves. I was beating myself up for a personal mistake/misstep this week. I'm happy to report I'm feeling a lot better. I had friends tell me that knew about it to not worry...that I was thinking too much about it and even though I didn't mean it, it was a great teaching point for the future. Still, I could not let it go. I was embarrassed and sorry I hurt anyone because I myself can get so wounded. Today I am better. Maybe it was the "letting go" or the talking it out, or really, just getting some SLEEP. I did over worry, but still feel twinges of guilt. I'm a big fan of confession - but if I can't get there, I still need to work on forgiving myself since I'm already very sorry. I know where I'll be headed this weekend lol! Gotta love that release of saying what happened and feeling the grace pour on. Until I can get there though I was blessed that I was among forgiving friends who can easily talk things out and were very loving and open in their perspective giving. How many people can say they have friends like that? Honest yet loving? I am grateful and blessed, and undeserving - but thrilled. That is the boost I cling to! One of my friends called me and asked me what I thought about our group of woman pals starting a weekly prayer group - so we can have a safe place to ask for prayers, get a boost, or share our weights, worries, mistakes, and help getting advice, forgiveness, etc. If that positive idea came out of any mistake on my part, I'm grateful (but still sorry..LOL. I know, I know....). We all need prayer and support in this journey - especially women!!

4. Happy Early Mother's Day!!!! Any exciting plans in the works for you? We'll do church Sunday morning and then Brunch with my mom and dad at the dinning hall of their home. It should be nice. Depending on how Lovely is feeling we may hang around for a music concert there. I know my mom would love it if we stayed. We'll see what happens.

5. I just have to giggle at my girls. They are both now on my bed, playing with each other, and some 'Get Well Soon" balloons Lovely got. They seem happy, even when tired. I have a feeling after the baby eats, she'll be getting ready for nap #2 and all 3 of us will get some needed rest together! I love cuddle time!!!

On that note, I should wrap up and feed the baby her late lunch. I'll end with Jill's new meme "Flash Back Friday's" (posting old posts from the archives, or just posts or pics one never got around to). I just started blogging, so I'm not sure how much longer I can really do this meme on Fridays (since my posts are not very old), but I thought the below one would be nice since I'm meeting new blog friends and an intro might be nice! I'll participate as I can. I appreciate Jill sending me a prize last week randomly, so I do this for her today in appreciation. Have a GREAT day!!!!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Fine, Fine Fine....I GIVE in!!!

Enough Already!! I'll blog!!!

Ok, ok...so I'm heading back into the trenches! After the birth of baby girl #1 in 2003, I discovered the online baby community of iP, and discovered wonderful people, a way to share with family and friends, post pics, and talk and talk and talk other than directly in your ear ;) 2004 dragged me in to the world of blogs, and I have to say it was therapeutic! Then we moved, and I just fell away from it all.

Well, fast forward to 2009. I'm still reading those blogs, and have even more best friends who use the internet to share their lives. I've had a second baby girl, am still addicted to my camera, like to post pics, and need to capture the firsts in my life again in word and film. Also, those who know me best know I talk. I talk and talk and talk. I ramble on what I'm feeling, pray about feeling, think about feeling, want to feel, assume you feel, feel like feeling....ZZZZZzzzzzzzz.....

Um.....you still there?

So, basically I am bringing back this outlet. Other friends are doing it. I like them doing it. I love reading, I keep in touch. So I guess I'll give it a go, again. I can't promise I'll update every day, week, or month. In fact, I'll probably update a lot at first, then blogging will lose its newness and excitement. It'll become like any worthy relationship - in need of constant work, dedication, and spirit to last, after the sexy new stage has passed. Yeah I said it...sexy. Oh yeah.

Wanna join me for the journey? Well than, welcome to your (hopefully) daily dose of a Rose-y (hehe) Outlook on Life. The name fits, for many reasons, the obvious and not so obvious. It fits our family unit, as well as my view on the world. I'm an optimist, spiritual "God's got me even if I struggle with letting go" happy go lucky, life is good and what you make of it, sunshiny gal. Life IS good, and I'd rather look at things happily, and have an er, ahem...rosy outlook on the life I've been given. Even though the flip side of me is a worrier, and I struggle at embracing a pure confidence in many things, I still prefer at the end of the day to embrace the good, because life is too short. I'm reminded every day. We need to find the joy - work at it if we have to. And, I have to use my brain, heart, and soul to do this - with a lot of help and faith.

Ok, so let me set the cast of characters. This isn't some network when you "friend" me and I allow you in. I'm exposed on the web, so I'll just attempt at changing things around. We'll see how long that lasts too.

ViolinMama - me. I get that from being both a Mama, and a Violinist. Both aspects pour from my soul. I'm a nurturer....and for better or for worse, one can't stop that flowing from inside! Though, I should break out the instrument more so to not be rusty....haha. I'm a former high school teacher (I still miss it, can't wait to visit this week!) now SAHM and love EVERY minute of it. I'm very grateful for that blessing everyday, and I can honestly say I still have not taken it for granted.

Gift - Hubby. I may call him Hubby more than "Gift", but in looking at what his name means, "gift" was PERFECT. He is God's gift to me. Now, he's not perfect and he's pretty stubborn (come one babe, once you admit I'm always right it'll be all good! HA) - but we are committed to working at this for better or for worse. He's pretty awesome for living with me, and dealing with me, and demonstrates a forgiving love as close to unconditional as humans can get. As I said...he's a gift. Not sure what I did though to get him ;) Music is a theme in this blog, as it permeates our family. Hubby plays flute, among other things, and music brought us together. We definitely have a soundtrack playing in our lives.

Lovely - This is Daughter #1. She's 5. She is truly our 1st in all ways. Lovely does describe her. She came at our busiest time in life, and for a while was our only child - and is she ever loved!!! She's imaginative, hysterically funny, loving, a constant smiler, dramatic, formally only child, totally has us wrapped around her finger, enchants us, challenges us, is extremely musically inclined, creative, emotional, observant, smart, and SPIRITED. Oh wow. I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but it's the best kind of tired. She's inspiring me to think VERY hard about homeschooling. Not to keep her in some bubble - but to work with her and learn with her in a way that frees her up to tackle even more, be more involved and social in her many interests. We'll see if that ever takes us anywhere....but we have been doing a lot of preK activities at home, and she really loves it! I doubt we'd do anything like that till 1st grade because of where we are in life currently.

Valiant - This is daughter #2, our baby (seriously, she's still a baby). Her nickname isn't very feminine - so I can see her becoming "Val" - but it was a meaning of her name that we liked. She hasn't had to be valiant yet (unless putting up with us counts HAHAHA), but that inner strength could play a big role later on for her. Currently she has captured our hearts. When you have one child, you wonder how the heck you love another baby....then she showed up and our hearts just exploded, Lovely's too! She's captured us all. She is so smiley!! She loves her big sister, and loves on us, and it is so much fun to see all the milestones again. We definitely pray for more....but we need some more sleep first lol!

I've gotten some pics up around the blog of this family I'm head over heals for - so enjoy, and I'm sure I'll post a bazillion more. Thanks for wading through this verbiage (so me!). Instead of writing all this, I should have just left the 1st entry intro as simply my tagline:

a glimpse into the things that make or break my outlook on life. Most importantly, my faith, family and friends, the ramblings of my brain, the desires of my heart, and the sound track of my soul.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.
_______________
TGIF!!!!!!

Flashback Friday

Well, nothing like a new blogging idea or contest to dig up on old post. Scary Mommy had this great idea to dig up old posts and have a Flashback Friday. Contest or not, I thought it was kinda fun. So, without further adieu - some old thoughts from me.

By the way - if you've read this already - fill free to just go to my BRAND new post from this morning, the Friday Five.

3/7/09

Spring Cleaning! (or maybe more like emotional release?)

Of course, as my husband leaves for 3 hours, and my oldest is at her grandparents till tomorrow, and the baby is asleep, and I'm here alone - I could just attack the house. Do a whirlwind straightening. Our house could use it. It's a bit chaotic since I've had little energy to touch it or encourage my family to help touch it too this week. But no. I sat down with my water and decided to check in with "ye ole blog". Inspired by the lovely weather, and fun at the park this morning, I have the energy to clean some, but first I wanted to create an outlet for myself with some feelings inside - write them out, get the out, and then let them go. It's one of the reasons why I opened a blog in the first place. So, as I spring clean my house some today in the quiet and solitude of MIA family members, I think I'll do some "soul cleaning" here.

I thrive on social activity. I love being with my family, and seeing my friends! My weeks are blessed to have the time for that. When I was working, I had a social outlet at work, but once Lovely was born, and I started grad school, I never got out much. Even when I finished school and was just a working mom and not a student too, I still didn't get out as much. So, having moved to our current home, now being home with my kids, and having met some of the best people EVER, I am the happiest I've been. Yet....sometimes I can't enjoy it all the time. I am constantly over analyzing my words, conversations, flaws, thoughts. I remember WAY too much, and many times it is the things I don't need to remember LOL! Why can't my brain work when I need it too (like paying people back I owe). It annoys me. And, if it annoys me - think of the friends that actually notice me doing it! My friends are saints for sticking by me!

Today was one of those days. I forewarn you not all you read here will make ANY sense. This entry if more for me. I caught myself today jumping in conversations - then thinking to myself "why did I just interject there? Interrupt?" For example - one was a conversation about social networking sites and to join them or not. I jumped in kinda to help give examples of sites people can use if they DON'T want to social network to avoid the peer pressure of joining - but I worried later "did I just just offend the person that prefers to network?" Plus, I wasn't in the conversation!!! Another time I found myself in a quiet moment rehashing things of the past I can't change, yet bringing them up because I guess I wanted to air my flaws before I worried others would. That is a real issue of mine. I'll belittle myself or past mistakes because I "assume" you are thinking, judging, and remembering them, and I'd rather say them out loud first so you "know I know". (HAHA, so, did THAT paragraph make ANY sense???!!)

So anyways - I just wanted to write those down so they are released to the universe (especially before I write an e-mail to send to these people, or call them, and really....that is not what I need to do. I just did it the other night, and that just causes more attention/stress than needed. Hello...LET GO ViolinMama! And, lol my e-mails have not been well written and clear lately, lol!) I honestly know WHY I overworry, overthink, and lose security. I could share it here, but it would probably be too long for 1 or 2 entries. I will say I've been wounded. Much of what I feel developed as "survival instincts" for those times mostly from childhood, but some as an adult dealing with some 'unchanging variables'. I could go talk to someone about them, but I had a great thought given to me. I know why I think as I think, so why stay "stuck" in my past talking about my past with someone? (not that I'm knocking seeing a counselor - I think they are great. I've seen them. They helped me figure out "me" and gave strategies to cope/improve/survive). What I need for "me" to do is to reclaim my present, and free up my future. More like life coaching myself. I can't change the past - and maybe I can't change "me" in the present (we all know from being married how we can't change our spouse) but I can work hard on "rewiring" how I think and react in the present, so I can have the richest future possible in emotional freedom.

I always chuckle at myself. I am a woman of deep faith. I "feel" so much. I know I am blessed, and I know when times are down and out - my faith has sustained me (such as Hubby's illnesses). God has never failed me, and if I lost my family in some accident tomorrow, I know my God is there for me and for them and I would never walk away from His strength and love. So, why can't I tap into that faith and just "let go, Let God" more in my daily life? Let Him take these feelings and yoke(s) on his shoulders? I guess that just shows I have to keep on growing. We all are called to carry our crosses with Jesus. Everyday. Something that really reminds us around spring and Easter. So, I guess I'll add this to the couple dozen crosses I bear - HA! 2009 has been a year I've pledged to grow in many areas (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and this is part of that process. So I'll work on both "letting go" more, and "carrying" my cross. I need to accept I am flawed, but STRONG and loved. I can stretch myself, grow, and improve. I may revert along the way - overworry, overthink - but I'll try and catch myself. Help me, if you will. I hope I can help you too. We'll stumble and fall together with our crosses - but I know we'll make it. I know I will. I will.

You know what? I just remembered. Jesus stumbled and fell with his cross too. More than once.

He eventually got where he needed to be. I know I will too.

Much love!!