Birth Story - "Gift"

It has taken me a while to get this done. A little here, a little there, "save", come back and write, add a picture, etc. But I love capturing the details. This isn't very eloquent, but I have no brain, and am so tired or busy lol!

To add a quick update, as of today (Wednesday, June 9th) I'm feeling much less blue-sy. In fact, I could say Monday on the phone I felt like I was free from the postpartum anxieties. This time they hung around longer than in the past, but since I last posted a real entry (over a week ago, not including our anniversary) I have gotten better. Starting this past weekend, I've felt happy again, and excited about things. I FEEL the moment now, vs being in the moment yet feeling down as things happened in the moment. It is so freeing. I'm not sure it is because of extra rest, as that has only been this week I've been able to be more quiet and get naps (Lovely is out of town currently with my sister, and Val is going to a preK summer camp for this week from 9-1pm, and then naps from all afternoon from her fun. It is SO nice to rest up with only the baby to tend to). So I think my happier spirit is due to hormones evening out. Even if the blues return, at least it means things are spacing farther apart, so I'm coming out of the fog...AMEN! I just wanted to record my feelings here for ME as a record. I hope I have not sounded whiny, or annoying. I just wanted to be honest here.

So, let's recap the events leading up to May 14th, 2:45am!

I was due on Tues, May 11th. I kept thinking (and many people assumed) I would go earlier - my belly was so huge. But, "Gift" wanted to hang on in there. So, 3 days went by. I went in for my weekly appt the morning of May 13th (Thurs) and I was given a routine NST. While they did that, I was having contractions I could not feel, and at my internal check, I was at a 3 to 3.5. The midwife assumed I would not be much longer - but to make an appt for the coming Monday instead of waiting a whole week, to recheck me and see what we should do.

Lovely was at school, and Val had already gone to my parents for my appt. I called and told my mom what my appt was like, and she said she wanted to keep Val longer and volunteered to do carpool for Lovely as she too felt something could happen. This way I could either rest or labor in peace. Thanks mom!

I came home, ate some breakfast, noticed I had some "show" (which got me excited!) and then went walking outside around 10am. I just kept walking. I started feeling "crampy" and some pressure - but it was barely anything so I kept walking. I even talked to S at her car in the street for about 20 mins giving her the story of my morning and I felt NOTHING while we talked. When I got home the pressure started again - very sporadic, but more than I felt in the past weeks. I called my hubby and told him I felt more crampy than I had ever felt. A little backstory - I've NEVER gone into labor at home. I've either been given pitocin (with Lovely when my water broke at home, but no labor) or a cervix ripener (With Valiant, which I think just triggered my labor, I did labor till 7 cms before medication) while in the hospital. I've never had to do the guessing game at home, so I was anxious to see if I could do things at home. Around 12 noon, I decided I'd do my workout tape - it seemed the physical activity really made things stick around. I was so worried I'd do all this cramping and then fizzle out a few more days - and I was so done waiting. It was close to the weekend, which would help with Hubby being off for work - so it was perfect! As I did the workout DVD, I could tell there was more of a pattern/interval to the cramps. I'd do squats to help add pressure. I was hesitant, but when I updated Hubby again, I told him I really felt I could now call them contractions and I'd start timing them. I went to a website to help me time them (my math ability stinks lol) and I continued working out, and hitting the enter button as contractions stopped and started (and let the website do the math for me on how spaced apart they were).

Pretty quickly I noticed they seemed to be 5-7 mins apart. Hmmmmmmm.....

Around 2 pm they seemed to be more like 5 minutes apart. I still didn't rush Hubby home (I probably should have, but silly me was basing things on my PAIN level - which was nothing...I was barely in pain, and the fact I wasn't sure I was timing them correctly via the instructions on the website). I spoke to two other friends via phone from church and the neighborhood and Hubby arrived home (at 3pm) during the latter phone call when at that point the contractions seemed 4 mins apart. Uhhhhhh....lol

Hubby and and the friend both thought I should call the midwife and update her because 4 mins was close. I was still doubtful, because I was not in pain, but called. The nurse I spoke with also seemed doubtful, but checked with my midwife who told me to get to the hospital for a check. We decided we'd go, but not tell anyone in case we got sent home. In the car I felt a few more pangs, but they were 7 mins apart. I started to think sitting down in the car slowed things down. Darn!

When we got there, the nurses in my room and I were thinking I was BARELY laboring, because I was still not in pain. We bet I'd either have to go walking more, or head home. So, when the midwife found I was 5-6 cms, we were all so surprised because of my lack of pain. I was definitely on my way! The nurses even joked they did not trust me now because of my high pain tolerance and I could shoot to 10 cms so not to go anywhere lol!


We started making the calls we were checked in and baby was on the way! I was so happy at my lack of pain I thought I would try for an all natural birth (I've always wanted to try it, especially since I got to 7 cms last time before my epidural). But....an hour later I was in so much pain. I could not imagine going on. So, I got the epidural. It was WONDERFUL. I could nap, etc. I had epidurals with my previous babies, so it was not new to me. But...this time my body reacted to it. My blood pressure went way down, I felt so nauseated, and I had to get checked a lot, and some shots of ephedrin (?) in my IV. Around midnight or so, they had to turn it off to help my blood pressure. They did eventually turn it back on, but my body never took well to it. Eventually it quit working. My midwife and nurses were AWESOME in all this.

When the epidural was working, I was able to nap, and spend time with Hubby and J, who came to help us out with support, picture taking, etc (she's been there for all our births). We watched Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice before I fell asleep. When the "drama" of the blood pressure and epidural was happening a few hours later (now officially the 14th, Friday), she was great about giving me back rubs and letting Hubby rest up. The pain got worse and worse, and I finally realized I was getting the "natural" childbirth I had wanted.....oh it HURT. LOL!! Oh man....OW!!! The pain was really bad about 2:30am and the nurse asked me if I felt the pressure/urge to push. I was not feeling those urges, just incredible pain, but she decided she would check me because she informed me that sometimes when women are ready to push, intense pain is a symptom vs urges. Sure enough, when she checked me...his head was right there. It was time. She got Hubby up, and directed us into our positions and called the midwife.

I did one practice push, and for some reason - I'm a good pusher. I don't know how, lol. It makes me laugh how at each delivery, they will tell me to do ONE "practice" push, and when they see me do it, start calling for all the staff to arrive lol. This was no different. I will say pushing was a BLESSING. I was told by a friend that for many, in a natural birth, pushing can distract you from the pain. When I pushed, the pain just seemed to vanish the moment I got my feet up high. When the pushing was over and my feet were back down....I was in agony. I preferred to just stay in the pushing position between contractions.

So, we got to business. I remember asking for a mirror to see everything, and J telling me I was amazing (thanks girl!) at how focused I was pushing. Hubby was such a great support too, and very focused on helping me count, etc. Then it seemed like seconds (I think I pushed less than 10 mins) before Hubby and J were going..."WOW, WOW, look....look at his hair....look..." I felt some pain then, and remembered saying - "get him OUT!" and I felt that whoosh/pop of the moment Gift joined my world with his body leaving my body behind.

I sobbed at his arrival - tears of so much love, excitement, and relief. I was so proud and excited. What a blessing!!! WOW...I have no words. None. Just gratitude.




Gift arrived at 2:45am, Friday May 14th at 8lbs, 12 ozs - 21 inches long. A Blessing!! Welcome to our world little angel!



He got to stay on my belly for a while, then Hubby cut the cord. He got cleaned up, checked out, then brought back and nursed. Then he got checked out more and bathed and I rested, was taken care of, and fed as I recovered. I was shaky and queasy, but water and food helped greatly. I then got to hold him, Hubby too, and J while I recovered enough to get a room. It was around 5am when that happened, and 7am before we were getting settled in that room. J left around 4am. We all were so happy....there is nothing like welcoming new life!! We had so many friends and family want calls when he was born, but we were so wiped out J only updated online or we called people around 7am. Things were just so crazy it was hard to grab a phone. I still feel bad...lol. I've never had a night birth before...it is a totally different experience than a daytime one. Very quiet and intimate (I know, that sounds weird when thinking about laboring) but it just changed the tone of the birth.


We stayed in the hospital until Sunday at noon. It was nice to get home, see our girls, and be a whole family! One of the highlights of the hospital stay was the girls meeting their brother. What a moment! My mind can't get around it....so emotional. So, getting home and being together again was so nice.


I hope in the next few weeks or months to make birth stories for my girls too. I don't have them here (or saved to a computer), and I'd love to journal them in one place. These are details worth remembering.

What a birth! He's such a gift...his name meaning fits so well!

Much love!

He's Here - Today's a Birthday!

I'm so tired from a 2:45am delivery, but our "Gift" is here! Mr. "Gift" made a wondrous appearance. It's been a whirlwind 24 hours and I'm about to get my first rest in those 24 hours....so I'm taking it. Here are 3 pics with our precious miracle...and he is indeed...a miracle.

Much LOVE!!!! Thanks for the thoughts, messages, and prayers!!! Can't wait to share his birth story!

Small Successes and Thankful Thursday: "I'm still cooking" Edition

I won't bore you with my 3 successes, as they are the SAME as last week. My Thankful List is also the same....so the one NEW success I have for you? Well....

I'm still gestating! Apparently I nurture babies in the womb REALLY well. I'm overdue, but feel good, and have a midwife appt this morning to see how things are. Praying all is healthy and no fetal distress like with Val at this point.

Much love!! Can't wait to update!!!

Wordless Wednesday - "40 weeks. 1 day (officially overdue and that's ok!!) Edition"

It's MAY 11th!! The Due Date!!!

And I'm happily still here. We're doing well. Just waiting. I know the timing will be perfect!

I hope everyone had a great weekend and Mother's Day!! Much love!!!

Can't Sleep - Maybe time for a Friday Five?

I woke up a bit ago, and I'm the girl who loves SLEEP. I'll sleep in, I'll go to bed early and sleep in, I hit snooze.....I have no idea why I'm awake at 5am when the house is still asleep. ANNOYING!!!

So, I'll distract with a little game of Friday Five:

1. Had a good midwife appt. yesterday. It was good, but painful. LOL!! Everything looks great (I'm a 3- 3 1/2 centimeters dilated - good!) , sounds great, and she offered (mind you, I'm cycled through the practice, so I see many midwives, and meet a few OB's as well) to strip the membranes. I've had this done before, and while it is not a party, it isn't that bad, and can help some women. Since we're so close to the weekend, and knowing it could help Hubby be off work if I had the baby this weekend, I said "SURE!!" Ummmmm.....this midwife takes membranes seriously - har har. I learned later from my girl M (baby boy's godmother and fellow patient at SAME practice) that it wasn't my poor memory at thinking my past experiences were "not that bad," but that this particular midwife just goes for it. So, I was kinda hoping I'd be in labor now so as that not to be in vain - but I'm not. Bummer. I can still wait...it is just because of this appt I'd love to already be in labor HAHA!

2. Lovely is VERY excited about today at school - FIELD DAY! The whole walk home yesterday she talked about needing her water bottle, sun screen, sneakers, hat, sun glasses, special team T-shirt....LOL. I'm glad that I can get her going today instead of being in labor - I didn't know to pack those items (aside from the shirt) so I can send her off without stress for another family member or caregiver. See? Hidden blessings!

3. Tomorrow is a big festival in our town. Lovely is thrilled to march in the parade with her school. I love that "small town" feel our little area has. We always love this special day - and spending it together will be nice before baby arrives. Lovely is set for such a fun weekend!

4. Lovely will be walking home with my parents today and then headed to sleep over at their house. Val is not scheduled for this sleep over...maybe that means we'll go into labor and have to rush to arrange for her...I bet if she went with Lovely and my parents, that would mean NO labor, cause that would just be TOO easy to have them both already set and at their condo - hahaha!!

5. If nothing happens this weekend, a quiet Sunday for Mother's Day would be nice - but....I think I'd better PLAN something for my mom and sister, etc. It dawned on me we've ALL joked I'd be in the hospital or have a baby by now (3rd baby ='s early delivery, right? WRONG!) so we wouldn't be doing much. Now, I'd better show some effort for the women I love and am in debt to on a special Mother's Day!

I wish everyone a great Friday (TGIF!!) and a Happy Mother's Day early!!! Have a FANTASTIC weekend. If anything more happens here, I'll let ya know....

Much love!!!

Small Successes and Thankful Thursday: "Prepping Edition"

Morning!!!!!

It's so hard to stay in bed this morning (usually I am hitting snooze). I'm so excited to have my 39 (and 3 days) weeks midwife appt this morning. I would just love to know where we stand. Last night, and this morning I've had "discomfort" - but nothing to write home about, or call a midwife about. I'm just hoping that "discomfort" is doing SOMETHING "checkable" today lol! I'll be 40 weeks on Tuesday, and so many friends have said "oh, you'll be sooner than that." Well, I know TWO lovely ladies that with #3 they were on time, or late....10 days late!! ACK!! The suspense... :)

So, I'm trying to think of a success list. It feels so repetitive from last week, since we are in that "baby anytime" mode. But I'll let you know what I got...

1. As of last night, all laundry is done and folded. Adult clothes are put away. I can put the girls' stuff away in a bit when the house is more "awake".

2. With Hubby's help, the house is also straight enough for me to relax some. Every room is cleaner, though I feel it just isn't good enough yet. Nesting? We also did more to the guest room in case we need someone to sleep there in the middle of the night. It's full of the boy's stuff (as he has no bedroom or closet or furniture yet - he's co-sleeping with us in a co-sleeper attached to our bed for a few months, so we haven't rushed the room situation yet) so we have to move stuff around for anyone to get by in there. It's now "passable" for someone to stay there.

3. We had an enjoyable evening last night. Lovely and Val were already eating dinner on the patio again, and were joined by their cute little "BFF's" girls next door. It was a menu every mother could love - hotdogs, mac n cheese, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, green beans and carrot sticks lol. Hubby and I enjoyed eating on the patio too. The girls all played a bit in the backyard, then came inside for some Wii Resort before bedtime. It's so nice to enjoy the cooler evenings with great people!

Bonus 4th - my book and companion journal came for a refreshing morning meditation! I love the books I have (scriptural, meditative, Catholic, Christian, etc...many forms) but I sometimes get burned out, or just run out of time. I have always loved the "Lenten Meditations" Elizabeth Foss and Danielle Bean co-wrote - simple, small steps to ponder for the day - and these ladies have now turned those ideas into a 356 day book and journal!! I can't stop glancing and talking about it. It's so fast, yet really effective for the mind and heart, and I get small goals to work on during the day vs big references, or long passages, or what not. Check it out!! (Even the journal is short, easy, and 1 entry per month). This will be great with a newborn - it might be one of the few things I can read and comprehend for a few weeks or months, haha!


Bonus 5th - whether with S next door some, or me on my own - I have walked everyday and sometimes walked AND done our workout DVD! I love feeling healthy by doing it, the extra energy I get, AND the hopeful effect it will get this baby to come out, hahaha!


How is your week!! Good or bad?

Thankful Thursday
This week I am thankful for....

1. this precious boy inside me, moving, kicking, and HICCUPING.
2. the pressure and discomfort of late....maybe it means he is coming soon?
3. TV dinners and easy pastas or prepared meals to heat up. I miss my real cooking, but this week, it's been a staple for my afternoon/evening energy. Tonight though, if no baby, I will be cooking a fresh meal...HAHAHA!
4. my wonderful hubby and his help. We've had a better week this past week with communication, patience, moods....I'm very happy.
5. my girls. Lovely came into bed this morning and whispered "the baby will be here soon, May 11th is almost here" LOL. I'm so excited she is excited, and even Val points to my tummy, says "Baby" and kisses it. I LOVE this!
6. my incredible friends. So many have offered their help. I love them!
7. our home, and neighborhood, and cherished friendships like family.
8. Our boy's Godparents - for being such special people!!!
9. good health!
10. a fantastic God!

Many blessings, much love!! Check back for updates on BABY!!!

Still Here!

Hey There!

Man - I miss when I don't blog, but we've been so busy 'round these here parts. I think, aside from some clutter that drives me nuts and never ends (mind you, I NEVER notice these concerns in OTHER homes. Their homes are wonderful. It is just mine. Why is that?? I never notice, care, or think...how can I apply that to my home and just live life more? LOL) we're ready. I wouldn't mind being on time or late for helping Lovely make some school events, etc and save my family from doing it - but really...we're good now. I'm 39 weeks tomorrow, so things are getting CLOSE!

I'm feeling great - I get winded or tired a lot, love naps, and sometimes feel lots of pressure - but I honestly feel fantastic! I'm loving the rainy weather we have today. It's washing away pollen, helping me cool my home with just open windows and the attic fan, and is making me ready for a nap! All in all, I'm doing well! I'm still active, and working out as I can - and getting out (though the weather may make that an exception today!).

We had a restful weekend. We got out some (dinner on the patio of a local pizzeria Friday, a Frontier celebration at a local park and train ride with friends), and stayed in and rested too. Sunday morning I made pancakes and omelets. Lovely and I have been reading Little House in the Big Woods and had just read about how Ma made a "Pancake Man" for the little kids when she did a special griddle breakfast...so of course Lovely wanted me to try:


I wish I had "after flipped" and "serving pics" but I was too busy trying to reconstruct his limbs and such after a disastrous flipping. Lovely still was thrilled. Ma Ingalls would have been proud.

Sunday afternoon was very nice. We cooled off outside with the breezes (the winds were bringing in today's rain clouds I bet) and the girls and I ate dinner on the patio. SO NICE. Little Val did so well sitting in her little chair at the table eating her food (I confess, I heated TV dinners lol - give me a break!!), and Lovely cleaned off the patio and tables for me all on her own! So sweet! Then I relaxed in my lounge chair with my feet up and watched the girls explore the yard. The pics below say it all - it was SO nice to relax, listen to the wind in the trees, feel the breeze, RELAX, and watch my girls. I got them to bed early, then went back outside and read. SO. NICE.

This picture was my view from my belly and feet...LOL!! I liked my chair:

And I even got a "Belly Buddy" along the way :) hehe!

I love these moments!

This week I'm sure will bring lots of great moments too. Maybe even an additional family member? We're SOOOO excited! We'll have to see. My mom and dad had Lovely over to sleep Friday night, and reported that morning (May 1st) Lovely burst into a room dancing and singing "It's May. It's May...my brother is coming in May!!" That made me excited. Little Val also kisses my tummy and says "Baby." Kids are so smart.

Here I am...about 38 weeks, 5 days:


And here I am, sharing a "pregnant pause" at a group playdate with one of my dearest pregnant friends. She's 27 weeks with her 3rd child. She's also the Godmother of our son to be. Gotta love the Belly to Belly Profile shots. I have a different angled one, but it won't load.



Ok, I should run. I'll update as we can. Much love and enjoy the blessings in your life!!!!

Squealing more and more lol!!

She sent over some more...a lot. And she says she has even more. I can't imagine! We're so grateful to be her test subjects! Scroll down to other posts with pics!!! :)

Ok, even more squeal!!!

hehe!

These may be the last of the teasers I'm sent - but check them out!! HEHE!!!