As always, things are speaking to me this Lent. I have some must reads that have touched my spirit. I wanted to share them.
First - thoughts on parenthood and our children's behaviors by Kate. It was SO HELPFUL for me. I process and deal with a lot as a mom and how my children might reflect me and I struggle with confidence sometimes. I feel responsible for all the negative behaviors my children do, or dealing with children in my care. Kate worded things well for me. Two quotes stuck out to me in regards to parenting:
I also was able to let go of what another person, whom I don't know all that well, who happened to be the hapless target of my child's aberrant behavior would think of me as a mother or of my daughter. No one can tarnish your reputation except yourself. Others might catch your otherwise saintly child having a really bad day, and maybe they will think she's a beastly child and/or that you're a lax mother. So be it. Their thoughts are theirs. My thoughts are my own. I don't have to let what anyone says or thinks about me or my child impact the way we see ourselves or how I parent.
And this:
No one owes me their kindness or their understanding. I can desire this - that all people I encounter will see my children and me through God eyes and offer empathy rather than judgment - but I can't expect it. Unrealistic expectations have a sneaky way of coloring your life a disappointing shade of darkness. I'm a recovering perfectionist; I'm through with feeling like I'm always falling short in the eyes of others (or in the eyes of my hyper-critical self). I don't want my children to feel that way either.
She further states:
If my child cannot tell me, as the most authoritative figure in her life right now, what she is feeling - even if it's a negative feeling directed toward me - then how will she be able to say no to her peers, to express just anger when someone wrongs her? How will she be able to speak up when someone does something that doesn't jive with her morality, to be assertive with her emotions and to not hide them away or deny them or let them erupt like a volcano when she's had it?
Excellent food for thought.
She said early in her post something I also am learning hard of late: "This is no way to parent. It's no way to live either. It takes the joy out of raising children. It makes every decision you make a test. It means you'll eventually collapse under the pressure. Trust me. I speak from experience." I know exactly what she means. I'm trying to keep my emotions from collapsing me as well.
If you've ever felt pretty blessed, but worry about the little crosses in your life - or when the big one will come - you might just be dealing with your cross more than you realize. The topic of this post is one close to my heart and one of constant prayer. I was led to read this post. Since I'm dealing with my anxiety issues, this post spoke to me greatly.
This last one I'll quote from my "Little Black Book" for Lent. It gave me great perspective on the Preparation of the Gifts during Mass. It is so much more than bringing bread and wine to the table and more than I had thought about giving TO Jesus.
First the reflection I read asked me to remember the story of the loaves and the fishes. When the disciples told Jesus all they had was a few loaves and couple of fish for the OVERWHELMING crowds, Jesus told them:
"Bring me what you've got." They did. Then he blessed the little they had, gave it back to them...and it was enough.
On any given day, we can say what the disciples said. We stand before all the needs that surround us - family, friends, job, finances, unfinished tasks, personal struggles - and say "Lord I don't have what it takes." The Lord says to us, "Bring me what you've got." We do (the presentation of the gifts). And the Lord will bless what we bring, and give it back to us at Communion. And it will be enough.
The bread and wine represent our life. We also bring forward money. This is not simply a matter of "paying the rent." Money speaks the hard language of real life. It comes from our wallet, our purse, our budget, our job. When we give this to the Lord, we are also giving of ourselves.
...It's not hard to "pray" the Preparation of the Gifts. We simply think of our struggle to deal with everything going on in our lives, and hear the Lord say, "Bring me what you've got." Then we place it all on the altar.
Amen.
Showing posts with label introductions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introductions. Show all posts
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Ben Stein's Final Column
I got this directly from Colleen
For many years Ben Stein has written a biweekly column called
''Monday Night At Morton's.'' (Morton's is a famous chain of Steakhouses known to be frequented by movie stars and famous people from around the globe.) Now, Ben is terminating the column to move on to other things in his life. Reading his final column is worth a few minutes of your time.
Ben Stein's Last Column...
How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?
As I begin to write this, I 'slug' it, as we writers say, which means I put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is 'eonline FINAL,' and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end.
It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars. I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.
Beyond that, a bigger change has happened..? I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all look up to.
How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a 'star' we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails.
They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit , Iraq . He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.
A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad . He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.
A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad ..
The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.
We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.
I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.
There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament...the policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.
Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a real hero.
I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.
But, I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.
This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York ... I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.
Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.
By Ben Stein
For many years Ben Stein has written a biweekly column called
''Monday Night At Morton's.'' (Morton's is a famous chain of Steakhouses known to be frequented by movie stars and famous people from around the globe.) Now, Ben is terminating the column to move on to other things in his life. Reading his final column is worth a few minutes of your time.
Ben Stein's Last Column...
How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?
As I begin to write this, I 'slug' it, as we writers say, which means I put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is 'eonline FINAL,' and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end.
It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars. I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.
Beyond that, a bigger change has happened..? I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all look up to.
How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a 'star' we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails.
They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit , Iraq . He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.
A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad . He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.
A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad ..
The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.
We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.
I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.
There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament...the policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.
Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a real hero.
I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.
But, I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.
This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York ... I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.
Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.
By Ben Stein
Monday, February 23, 2009
Fine, Fine Fine....I GIVE in!!!
Enough Already!! I'll blog!!!
Ok, ok...so I'm heading back into the trenches! After the birth of baby girl #1 in 2003, I discovered the online baby community of iP, and discovered wonderful people, a way to share with family and friends, post pics, and talk and talk and talk other than directly in your ear ;) 2004 dragged me in to the world of blogs, and I have to say it was therapeutic! Then we moved, and I just fell away from it all.
Well, fast forward to 2009. I'm still reading those blogs, and have even more best friends who use the internet to share their lives. I've had a second baby girl, am still addicted to my camera, like to post pics, and need to capture the firsts in my life again in word and film. Also, those who know me best know I talk. I talk and talk and talk. I ramble on what I'm feeling, pray about feeling, think about feeling, want to feel, assume you feel, feel like feeling....ZZZZZzzzzzzzz.....
Um.....you still there?
So, basically I am bringing back this outlet. Other friends are doing it. I like them doing it. I love reading, I keep in touch. So I guess I'll give it a go, again. I can't promise I'll update every day, week, or month. In fact, I'll probably update a lot at first, then blogging will lose its newness and excitement. It'll become like any worthy relationship - in need of constant work, dedication, and spirit to last, after the sexy new stage has passed. Yeah I said it...sexy. Oh yeah.
Wanna join me for the journey? Well than, welcome to your (hopefully) daily dose of a Rose-y (hehe) Outlook on Life. The name fits, for many reasons, the obvious and not so obvious. It fits our family unit, as well as my view on the world. I'm an optimist, spiritual "God's got me even if I struggle with letting go" happy go lucky, life is good and what you make of it, sunshiny gal. Life IS good, and I'd rather look at things happily, and have an er, ahem...rosy outlook on the life I've been given. Even though the flip side of me is a worrier, and I struggle at embracing a pure confidence in many things, I still prefer at the end of the day to embrace the good, because life is too short. I'm reminded every day. We need to find the joy - work at it if we have to. And, I have to use my brain, heart, and soul to do this - with a lot of help and faith.
Ok, so let me set the cast of characters. This isn't some network when you "friend" me and I allow you in. I'm exposed on the web, so I'll just attempt at changing things around. We'll see how long that lasts too.
ViolinMama - me. I get that from being both a Mama, and a Violinist. Both aspects pour from my soul. I'm a nurturer....and for better or for worse, one can't stop that flowing from inside! Though, I should break out the instrument more so to not be rusty....haha. I'm a former high school teacher (I still miss it, can't wait to visit this week!) now SAHM and love EVERY minute of it. I'm very grateful for that blessing everyday, and I can honestly say I still have not taken it for granted.
Hubby - Well, my Hubby. He is God's gift to me. Now, he's not perfect and he's pretty stubborn (come on babe, once you admit I'm always right it'll be all good! HA) - but we are committed to working at this for better or for worse. He's pretty awesome for living with me, and dealing with me, and demonstrates a forgiving love as close to unconditional as humans can get. As I said...he's a gift. Not sure what I did though to get him ;) Music is a theme in this blog, as it permeates our family. Hubby plays flute, among other things, and music brought us together. We definitely have a soundtrack playing in our lives.
Lovely - This is Daughter #1. She's 5. She is truly our 1st in all ways. Lovely does describe her. She came at our busiest time in life, and for a while was our only child - and is she ever loved!!! She's imaginative, hysterically funny, loving, a constant smiler, dramatic, formally only child, totally has us wrapped around her finger, enchants us, challenges us, is extremely musically inclined, creative, emotional, observant, smart, and SPIRITED. Oh wow. I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but it's the best kind of tired. She's inspiring me to think VERY hard about homeschooling. Not to keep her in some bubble - but to work with her and learn with her in a way that frees her up to tackle even more, be more involved and social in her many interests. We'll see if that ever takes us anywhere....but we have been doing a lot of preK activities at home, and she really loves it! I doubt we'd do anything like that till 1st grade because of where we are in life currently.
Valiant - This is daughter #2, our baby (seriously, she's still a baby). Her nickname isn't very feminine - so I can see her becoming "Val" - but it was a meaning of her name that we liked. She hasn't had to be valiant yet (unless putting up with us counts HAHAHA), but that inner strength could play a big role later on for her. Currently she has captured our hearts. When you have one child, you wonder how the heck you love another baby....then she showed up and our hearts just exploded, Lovely's too! She's captured us all. She is so smiley!! She loves her big sister, and loves on us, and it is so much fun to see all the milestones again. We definitely pray for more....but we need some more sleep first lol!
I've gotten some pics up around the blog of this family I'm head over heals for - so enjoy, and I'm sure I'll post a bazillion more. Thanks for wading through this verbiage (so me!). Instead of writing all this, I should have just left the 1st entry intro as simply my tagline:
a glimpse into the things that make or break my outlook on life. Most importantly, my faith, family and friends, the ramblings of my brain, the desires of my heart, and the sound track of my soul.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.
Ok, ok...so I'm heading back into the trenches! After the birth of baby girl #1 in 2003, I discovered the online baby community of iP, and discovered wonderful people, a way to share with family and friends, post pics, and talk and talk and talk other than directly in your ear ;) 2004 dragged me in to the world of blogs, and I have to say it was therapeutic! Then we moved, and I just fell away from it all.
Well, fast forward to 2009. I'm still reading those blogs, and have even more best friends who use the internet to share their lives. I've had a second baby girl, am still addicted to my camera, like to post pics, and need to capture the firsts in my life again in word and film. Also, those who know me best know I talk. I talk and talk and talk. I ramble on what I'm feeling, pray about feeling, think about feeling, want to feel, assume you feel, feel like feeling....ZZZZZzzzzzzzz.....
Um.....you still there?
So, basically I am bringing back this outlet. Other friends are doing it. I like them doing it. I love reading, I keep in touch. So I guess I'll give it a go, again. I can't promise I'll update every day, week, or month. In fact, I'll probably update a lot at first, then blogging will lose its newness and excitement. It'll become like any worthy relationship - in need of constant work, dedication, and spirit to last, after the sexy new stage has passed. Yeah I said it...sexy. Oh yeah.
Wanna join me for the journey? Well than, welcome to your (hopefully) daily dose of a Rose-y (hehe) Outlook on Life. The name fits, for many reasons, the obvious and not so obvious. It fits our family unit, as well as my view on the world. I'm an optimist, spiritual "God's got me even if I struggle with letting go" happy go lucky, life is good and what you make of it, sunshiny gal. Life IS good, and I'd rather look at things happily, and have an er, ahem...rosy outlook on the life I've been given. Even though the flip side of me is a worrier, and I struggle at embracing a pure confidence in many things, I still prefer at the end of the day to embrace the good, because life is too short. I'm reminded every day. We need to find the joy - work at it if we have to. And, I have to use my brain, heart, and soul to do this - with a lot of help and faith.
Ok, so let me set the cast of characters. This isn't some network when you "friend" me and I allow you in. I'm exposed on the web, so I'll just attempt at changing things around. We'll see how long that lasts too.
ViolinMama - me. I get that from being both a Mama, and a Violinist. Both aspects pour from my soul. I'm a nurturer....and for better or for worse, one can't stop that flowing from inside! Though, I should break out the instrument more so to not be rusty....haha. I'm a former high school teacher (I still miss it, can't wait to visit this week!) now SAHM and love EVERY minute of it. I'm very grateful for that blessing everyday, and I can honestly say I still have not taken it for granted.
Hubby - Well, my Hubby. He is God's gift to me. Now, he's not perfect and he's pretty stubborn (come on babe, once you admit I'm always right it'll be all good! HA) - but we are committed to working at this for better or for worse. He's pretty awesome for living with me, and dealing with me, and demonstrates a forgiving love as close to unconditional as humans can get. As I said...he's a gift. Not sure what I did though to get him ;) Music is a theme in this blog, as it permeates our family. Hubby plays flute, among other things, and music brought us together. We definitely have a soundtrack playing in our lives.
Lovely - This is Daughter #1. She's 5. She is truly our 1st in all ways. Lovely does describe her. She came at our busiest time in life, and for a while was our only child - and is she ever loved!!! She's imaginative, hysterically funny, loving, a constant smiler, dramatic, formally only child, totally has us wrapped around her finger, enchants us, challenges us, is extremely musically inclined, creative, emotional, observant, smart, and SPIRITED. Oh wow. I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but it's the best kind of tired. She's inspiring me to think VERY hard about homeschooling. Not to keep her in some bubble - but to work with her and learn with her in a way that frees her up to tackle even more, be more involved and social in her many interests. We'll see if that ever takes us anywhere....but we have been doing a lot of preK activities at home, and she really loves it! I doubt we'd do anything like that till 1st grade because of where we are in life currently.
Valiant - This is daughter #2, our baby (seriously, she's still a baby). Her nickname isn't very feminine - so I can see her becoming "Val" - but it was a meaning of her name that we liked. She hasn't had to be valiant yet (unless putting up with us counts HAHAHA), but that inner strength could play a big role later on for her. Currently she has captured our hearts. When you have one child, you wonder how the heck you love another baby....then she showed up and our hearts just exploded, Lovely's too! She's captured us all. She is so smiley!! She loves her big sister, and loves on us, and it is so much fun to see all the milestones again. We definitely pray for more....but we need some more sleep first lol!
I've gotten some pics up around the blog of this family I'm head over heals for - so enjoy, and I'm sure I'll post a bazillion more. Thanks for wading through this verbiage (so me!). Instead of writing all this, I should have just left the 1st entry intro as simply my tagline:
a glimpse into the things that make or break my outlook on life. Most importantly, my faith, family and friends, the ramblings of my brain, the desires of my heart, and the sound track of my soul.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.
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