A New Year's Do Over

So, it's time for my word. You know, that cool idea floating the blogs and vlogs of choosing one word to focus your year around, not just a bunch of resolutions.

This was my post and word choice from last year. 

Guess what? I've decided to do last year over, and refocus on that word again. I lost focus a few months in. The definition of my word even has 12 descriptors, perfect for breaking down month by month! I never made it a priority. I think it would help me to try again in 2013.

So, along with getting better about a healthy diet and exercise, a healthier mental outlook, and an end to my spiritual dryness - I think I will relump my focus in 2013 with "Redeem" again.

My word is redeem. 

So....let me use some of last year's post to introduce redeem again. I've edited in places for 2013:

...In the midst of the churning waters threatening to overtake us, God's hand started to show up - almost immediately. When Hubby came home from work early (1pm on Sept 16th) to confess we needed to be out of the house by the 19th and he was not himself - a qualified friend answered my stunned phone call for help for my husband to give him someone to talk to. My children were immediately tended to for the next several days, and a place for us to live was offered generously and ready immediately. My sister and next door neighbor started organizing what to do to get us moved while I walked around rather like a zombie, and best friends (including all the before mentioned) started POURING out of the woodwork to pack us up, take down furniture, PACK, wrap, feed, and soothe us. I'm talking about friends driving HOURS to come cover us in love. We were drowning, and were being pulled to safety by everyone. It was overwhelming. 

I could not believe it. I was feeling like a failure - a fooled woman too traditional and blinded by my own vocation to see what was veiled from me - and yet friends poured in to support BOTH Hubby and I - no matter how it happened that the house was lost  - it didn't matter to anyone. We were reminded we were worth far more in this life than as homeowners. I could tell, almost immediately, God was redeeming the situation. I never felt like saying "Why Us?" because God didn't cause this. Instead I felt like saying "Why NOT us?" knowing God had us protected and would keep showing His hand. He redeemed.

Our new little 2 bedroom condo somehow fit all the things we absolutely needed, and the things that made it feel like a home. Furniture just FIT. The crib just FIT in our master bedroom. The girls' stuff just FIT in the other bedroom. Storage for the rest was secured. God redeemed our housing situation. Much was donated or given away to help others (redeem!), much was purged to create more peace in our souls and future space (redeem!) before moving day. Meals came almost every night for 3 weeks (redeem!), and when Hubby was put in the hospital - people did it all again! Can you believe it? More meals, childcare, support, donations....the redeeming went on, and on, and on. I was brought to my knees in humbleness. I started to understand just how hard it was for Mary to say "YES" to Gabriel. I was having to learn to say "yes" to so many people.

Then, as things quieted down - it was just me and my empty feeling marriage. While still in love, I had no idea really who I was married to - since the hiding and trying to shield us from the painful truth had gone on a few years - but deep down I felt God. I knew we had the POTENTIAL for becoming great again as a true partnership sharing the load. I could, and still can, feel God redeeming our marriage and family. That feeling will continue into 2012 (now, 2013). In addition, the end of 2012 found me in a difficult emotional place with my extended family Christmas day, and the week following with out of town family. I am praying for redemption there, even if in my heart only. I can only control me.  

I've grown up my whole life hearing "Christ the Redeemer." I never EVER got the true meaning of the word "Redeem" until we had this loss. It dawned on me that weekend as I stumbled around watching so many people help us that many people of the world assume God will FIX our problems, that Jesus will just FIX our illnesses, situations, flaws, or problems. Fixing is NOT what God is. He is "The Redeemer." He'll take what is broken and reform it, reclaim it, fulfill it.

So, my word for 2013 is:

FROM WEBSTER'S  - THE DEFINITION OF REDEEM :

transitive verb

1

a : to buy back : repurchase b : to get or win back

2

: to free from what distresses or harms: as a : to free from captivity by payment of ransom b : to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental c : to release from blame or debt : clear d : to free from the consequences of sin

3

: to change for the better : reform

4

restore

5

a : to free from a lien by payment of an amount secured thereby b (1) : to remove the obligation of by payment redeems savings bonds on demand> (2) : to exchange for something of value <redeem trading stamps> c : to make good : fulfill

6

a : to atone for : expiate <redeem an error> b (1) : to offset the bad effect of (2) : to make worthwhile : retrieve

Pretty amazing definition, huh? I think this is the PERFECT word for 2012 as I seek do the hard work involved to redeem my marriage, redeem our marital love and trust, redeem my feeling of worthiness, redeem our FEELING of home for our children to feel secure and know that faith is what matters, not the THINGS. My husband and I can also redeem our financial future. It won't be easy...but I will let the Redeemer in.

Amazingly - in my daily life I can use the above definition to my advantage. To redeem 2012, I can use all these verbs to my advantage every day, every step, every breath and whispered prayer. I can also focus on them month by month:

atone
retrieve
fulfill
free
exchange
restore
reform
ransom
clear
win back
offset
repurchase

Jesus did all the above for me. He has shown me the way....

Now, I simply need to try, one step at a time. I need to try and redeem my spiritual dryness that is my making, as God has not forsaken me. I'm just lost. I need to try and redeem the daily struggles to grab joy and really savor the victories and small triumphs in my life, even when it feels like I'm walking thigh deep in water. I need to try and redeem my physical and emotional health.

It is redeemable.

Happy New Year - I wish you freedom too in this wonderful new year. Bring on 2013.

Blessings! Pray for me....I'm praying for you!

Sharing "Substance" and Revisiting My 2012 Word

I am so sorry for the lack of "substance" posts. I have been busy with my part time job, as well as homeschooling and marriage saving. Our Retrouvaille process involves a lot of writing, and combining that with my part time job (which involves writing) means I get a little tired of writing by the end of the day. If I could just mentally post, instead of typing words out, I would be in business. Even my homeschooling blog is horribly neglected. I aim to fix that soon! It honestly depresses me to not blog, because I love creating these records for my family. I really, really hope to get back to sharing both my thoughts, and our daily activities soon.

How about a quick marriage update? We're working hard. We are still not where we need to be, and I agree with the Retrouvaille philosphy - we'll always be a couple in "recovery" (once we feel we really are on the road to succeeding at the changes we are learning to make). How we are doing depends on the day or the week you ask one of us. This week I'm struggling, but last week and the week before was better. I found our communication once we were back in the same house after his business trip was a let down (both of us at fault there). Also, we were hoping for a promotion in his career that stalled out once again.

While I am at peace knowing God has His timing (and I have hopes for where we could get a house, and this potential opportunity would not give me that), we came so close that it was such a boost to think we could dream about moving to a rental house and have a yard for our kids again. I have so much to offer up and sacrifice this Lent - among them letting the small, yardless space where we live get me down (I also believe much of 'this' is seasonal depression, as I can tell things are getting better as we approach the time change!). We are SO blessed and we need to sacrifice these materialistic feelings when we have so much more than many - and I need to pray and work toward building up the ones who struggle more than we do in prayer and alms. Please keep praying for us, and paying life forward as you can to others to build them up! If we have internet access to read each others' blogs, we have much to share (or at least scrape together) to help others.

It dawned on me I have some prompts I could be using to blog. When I picked my Word for 2012, it
seemed to divinely break down into 12 descriptive words. Kris suggested I write about these words each month. Well, I am already behind on the words:
 
atone - January
retrieve - February
fulfill - March

So, be on the look out for my catch up posts for January and February. I'll probably  post date them so they fall in the months they were meant for (in case I ever print out this blog), but since I'm not sure if they'll show up on reader that way, I'll link to them. I'm sure I'll get to March's word at some point this month. It's a great way to really focus on my 2012 word - Redeem. I think, especially in my marriage, it is a word I need to dissect and reflect on daily.

I also am underlining like CRAZY in my Little Black Book for Lent. I hope to share those "lights" soon.

Until then, I leave you with a (RANDOM) little slice of peace I had this evening:

Yes, I could afford to drink the Mike's today - ha!

 The weather is lovely, the days are getting longer again (which makes me feel better!), we are taking advantage of our porch again most days and meals, and I'm relearning to eat properly again. I've lost 11.4 pounds since starting my new lifestyle January 22. I've got a long way to go (I did a LOT of comfort eating after our surprise move and marriage crumble). But, with the support of friends and family - I'm getting back on track - and even having fun in healthy moderation. I am getting inspired always by Kris, Gabriela, Patti, my Ninja in Training at Life by the Seaside, Blair (she has a great check in on Mondays!),  Mary (be praying for her and her amazing daughter Courtney, who has gotten some disheartening health news of late) and Kate as always, among MANY more I get inspired by who are creating new healthy lifestyles. I know I'm missing even some of my combox buddies.  Hey - do me a favor - let me know your health goals and if you are blogging about them. I want to pay special note! Let's help each other!!

Ok - I need to spend time talking with my husband. He's home from his guy's night out and spiritual support group. Much love to you all!!

Word for 2012

A few years ago, I noticed a lot of bloggers diverging from the traditional resolutions at New Year's and instead going for a "word" to define their year. I liked that - and meant to do it last year, but could NEVER pick one word!  But, I can tell you that this past September, my word for 2012 became CRYSTAL clear. My world crashed around me September 16th with my family learning our house was no longer ours anymore. The next week my husband got VERY ill and was hospitalized with major surgery. While I felt oddly grateful that aside from my husband's surgery we did not have sick children, cancer, or a terrible accident or house fire - I still felt great loss. In fact, I felt like while spiritually I was stronger than ever, worldly I was drowning. I knew God had us, and would guide us. It was how to meet God halfway that consumed me.

In the midst of the churning waters threatening to overtake us, God's hand started to show up - almost immediately. When Hubby came home from work early (1pm on Sept 16th) to confess we needed to be out of the house by the 19th and he was not himself - a qualified friend answered my stunned phone call for help for my husband to give him someone to talk to. My children were immediately tended to for the next several days, and a place for us to live was offered generously and ready immediately. My sister and next door neighbor started organizing what to do to get us moved while I walked around rather like a zombie, and best friends (including all the before mentioned) started POURING out of the woodwork to pack us up, take down furniture, PACK, wrap, feed, and soothe us. I'm talking about friends driving HOURS to come cover us in love. We were drowning, and were being pulled to safety by everyone. It was overwhelming.

I could not believe it. I was feeling like a failure - a fooled woman too traditional and blinded by my own vocation to see what was veiled from me - and yet friends poured in to support BOTH Hubby and I - no matter how it happened that the house was lost  - it didn't matter to anyone. We were reminded we were worth far more in this life than as homeowners. I could tell, almost immediately, God was redeeming the situation. I never felt like saying "Why Us?" because God didn't cause this. Instead I felt like saying "Why NOT us?" knowing God had us protected and would keep showing His hand. He redeemed.

Our new little 2 bedroom condo somehow fit all the things we absolutely needed, and the things that made it feel like a home. Furniture just FIT. The crib just FIT in our master bedroom. The girls' stuff just FIT in the other bedroom. Storage for the rest was secured. God redeemed our housing situation. Much was donated or given away to help others (redeem!), much was purged to create more peace in our souls and future space (redeem!) before moving day. Meals came almost every night for 3 weeks (redeem!), and when Hubby was put in the hospital - people did it all again! Can you believe it? More meals, childcare, support, donations....the redeeming went on, and on, and on. I was brought to my knees in humbleness. I started to understand just how hard it was for Mary to say "YES" to Gabriel. I was having to learn to say "yes" to so many people.

Then, as things quieted down - it was just me and my empty feeling marriage. While still in love, I had no idea really who I was married to - since the hiding and trying to shield us from the painful truth had gone on a few years - but deep down I felt God. I knew we had the POTENTIAL for becoming great again as a true partnership sharing the load. I could, and still can, feel God redeeming our marriage and family. That feeling will continue into 2012.

I've grown up my whole life hearing "Christ the Redeemer." I never EVER got the true meaning of the word "Redeem" until we had this loss. It dawned on me that weekend as I stumbled around watching so many people help us that many people of the world assume God will FIX our problems, that Jesus will just FIX our illnesses, situations, flaws, or problems. Fixing is NOT what God is. He is "The Redeemer." He'll take what is broken and reform it, reclaim it, fulfill it.

So, my world for 2012 is:

From Webster's  - the definition of REDEEM :

transitive verb

1

a : to buy back : repurchase b : to get or win back

2

: to free from what distresses or harms: as a : to free from captivity by payment of ransom b : to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental c : to release from blame or debt : clear d : to free from the consequences of sin

3

: to change for the better : reform

4

restore

5

a : to free from a lien by payment of an amount secured thereby b (1) : to remove the obligation of by payment redeems savings bonds on demand> (2) : to exchange for something of value <redeem trading stamps> c : to make good : fulfill

6

a : to atone for : expiate <redeem an error> b (1) : to offset the bad effect of (2) : to make worthwhile : retrieve

Pretty amazing definition, huh? I think this is the PERFECT word for 2012 as I seek do the hard work involved to redeem my marriage, redeem our marital love and trust, redeem my feeling of worthiness, redeem our FEELING of home for our children to feel secure and know that faith is what matters, not the THINGS. My husband and I can also redeem our financial future. It won't be easy...but I will let the Redeemer in.

Amazingly - in my daily life I can use the above definition to my advantage. To redeem 2012, I can use all these verbs to my advantage every day, every step, every breath and whispered prayer:

atone
retrieve
fulfill
free
exchange
restore
reform
ransom
clear
win back
offset
repurchase

Jesus did all the above for me. He has shown me the way. Now I will give it my all.

Happy New Year - I wish you freedom too in this wonderful new year. Bring on 2012!

Much love!

P.S. Holy Moly! I just noticed as I hit publish I listed 12 words that defined "redeem" in its definition.  There are 12 months in a year...

God is SO Good. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

 

Usually, we host a family friendly New Year's Eve party every year. This year, all our special friends somehow ended up in different places and not near us and able to come ring in the new year with us. While we missed this them this evening, it also seemed to work out. I have been under the weather since yesterday, and hosting anyone seemed out of my league. So, instead - we had a quiet family Eve. We played games, napped (I've been in bed all day), and then went out for dinner (Chinese) before coming home and resting. While quieter than in years past - it was nice. I think after the chaos of the last few months, my soul craves the quiet. Hubby wanted to go to bed early, and I felt this nudge to try something I've NEVER done before - go to 11pm Mass, that ends at midnight. It was really nice and peace-filled. It was bilingual and a great way to have the community come together.  After Mass (which ended a minute before midnight, so it was neat how people got all excited once the clock ticked away) I spent about 20 mins in Adoration. It was a unique experience - an hour of worship bridged between two years. Powerful when you think of it like that, right?

I had so many things to pray for, and give thanksgiving for. For so many of our friends, there has been a lot of suffering and loss, especially in the last few days. I'll blog about it another time. But, I prayed hard for peace tonight - and my word for 2012 - which I'll share tomorrow. Tears were even shed this evening. It was really beautiful. A quiet entrance to 2012 with a touch of fireworks outside punctuating the night. As always, I took a picture - I always seem to be searching for a way to freeze time - and my camera is one of my methods.

There is something about entering a new year with the words "Go in PEACE to LOVE and SERVE the Lord!" right at the stroke of the clock. May this leap year bless us all - with an extra day thrown in to get our hearts and actions right to grab that peace, give love, and to serve others.

So, from my family, myself, and the Big Guy pictured above lol - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Looking back at 2009 - Looking ahead to 2010

I love this time of year....New Year's Eve. It isn't about the annual party we throw which thrills us with a house full of loved ones (kids too!) to ring in a new year - though that is awesome. It's usually all the reflecting I hear and read about that makes me want to also strive in goal making for the fresh new year. It also makes me reflect back to see if I met any of the goals/resolutions I made the previous Eve.

I used to just make resolutions - but I found I broke them. I used to do this college. Now I "resolve" to make goals...and for some reason - this helps!

In early 2009, I started blogging in a way to help me have a place to focus on the 2009 goals I made. I'll copy and paste a few things here from those early entries and goal making:

1st- about me...
Wanna join me for the journey? Well than, welcome to your (hopefully) daily dose of a Rose-y (hehe) Outlook on Life. The name fits, for many reasons, the obvious and not so obvious. It fits our family unit, as well as my view on the world. I'm an optimist, spiritual "God's got me even if I struggle with letting go" happy go lucky, life is good and what you make of it, sunshiny gal. Life IS good, and I'd rather look at things happily, and have an er, ahem...rosy outlook on the life I've been given. Even though the flip side of me is a worrier, and I struggle at embracing a pure confidence in many things, I still prefer at the end of the day to embrace the good, because life is too short. I'm reminded every day. We need to find the joy - work at it if we have to. And, I have to use my brain, heart, and soul to do this - with a lot of help and faith.

So - there was my intro on me. When 2008 was passing away, and it was the Eve of 2009 - I made a goal. I wanted to work on that more worrisome side of me. I wanted to try to become a stronger, more confidant person. The person I felt 95% of the time. The person who was infused with faith and PEACE and optimism after a day with family, time with God, uplifting Mass, fun with friends, or even with a cross that I bear KNOWING God carried me, or waking up and knowing I was taken care of; that worrying was pointless because it lead to fear and doubt, and that isn't what life is about. Life is about living without taking things for granted and how precious our gifts are, because life is short!

People who know me know I'm an optimist, happy, and God trusting. I've been tested many times and I know God is there for me. I actually feel Him most during those "drop to my knees" times and I'm so grateful for those times. Yet...one thing I wanted to work on in 2009 was dealing with the "smaller crosses" of life and letting go of my fears and letting God make me the confidant woman He wants me to be! How is it I do so well with big crosses (illness, job loss, strife) but the daily little ones sink me? I was hurt a ton in my past, and currently deal with some harsh but caring extended family members. The result is I battle insecurities daily - even when I know God can just take those from me if I let Him. I felt in 2008 (and maybe because in 2008 I was pregnant or nursing - thus more emotional, hormonal, post partum, and tired) I was giving in to my worries on a daily basis. I questioned what I said to people, did, thought, or what others did or said towards me. I worried about my family, I let negative family comments get to me and affect how I felt about myself and parenting. I felt all I vented to trusted friends was just "me me me me me" (I still battle that - friends reading this...I love you and thank you for being that listening ear - I'm going to keep working on it for 2010!). I wanted to let that go in my life and be open to the GOOD. Be whole!

So, New Year's Eve, before 2009, I resolved these goals:

1. Work more on letting go, letting God with my daily worries, small crosses, and insecurities.
2. Embracing each day.
3. Focus on quality time with my girls and husband.
4. Becoming more prayerful and doing more "quiet time" and reflective reading.

I know journaling helps people stay focused on their goals, as well as create an outlet for their feelings so they can process, release, and find a way to move forward. I decided to blog in Feb of this year to help me find that focus, and feel like I had a place to vent that wasn't always a friend whose valuable time I was using up LOL! Also, blogging was great for me because I could post the POSITIVES in my life - pictures, family events, my kids, etc and know that during my day I DID do something good for my family. My anxiety would make me think I had wasted the day, or didn't spend time with my girls or husband. Blogging these great moments and seeing them add up helped me see I was living out my calling. I think most bloggers do that. It's why sometimes we as readers think a blogger's life is perfect - and it is not....they are just capturing the good moments and memories. They struggle with all the stresses we do - they just try and remember the good times. So blogging helped me greatly with those goals of seeing my life more clearly and blessed. A true gift where each day is precious and short.

When I look over the blog, I see where I quoted from my readings, or from other inspirational places, the bible, friends, family, or famous quotes and they have helped me so much. I see the pictures of our family moments, or Daybooks capturing my little moments, or venting entries that gave me emotional release. I've felt I've stayed accountable to that 2009 goal list. Sure, I've fallen a few times, but I have made it a constant focus of improvement.

When I talk to my husband and friends (well, BEFORE getting pregnant with #3) I ask them if I seem better, talking less about my worries etc. Did they see me as a little more peaceful than in 2008? Most reactions seemed positive - though I was warned to not expect to CHANGE myself - God made me who I am - the parts that make me a worrier or a prey to anxiety also make me a great listener, empathic to others, accepting and loving of others - maybe even a challenge to others with my perspective. I just need to keep working on finding that balance. I really think I was/am doing better job at letting go. Now, getting pregnant (YAY!!) has brought back some of those hormones that mess with me, brought out some "great" (sarcasm) extended family comments lol, and some of those inner voices that make me worry about everything...but I feel stronger! I feel more empowered to take on those anxieties. I may freak a little, but if I reflect, pray, write, or call someone - I can release faster than I did before. I take that as a step in the right direction. I'm letting Go, Letting God a little more every day.

One New Year's reflection I got a lot out of and made me write this post was Jennifer's entry. She lists 7 lessons from 2009. Most of them were really great for me. I'll do MY take on her list - paraphrasing her titles:

1. Taking Care of oneself physically helps everything else...I have found this year that working out more, or walking, has helped me deal with all those inner voices. When I am stronger in body, I find I can be more focused on my spirit. Endorphins or energy help one focus 'Above'. I lost about 23 pounds (before getting pregnant) that really renewed me. Mind, spirit, and body DO work together to help us hear God and feel Him. It's empowering!

2. Rethinking Gratitude...Jennifer is so right - if you lose the "If only's" and try to be grateful for what comes your way (or a HIDDEN blessing from a hard road or cross) it is easier to be happy. I also try to adopt a "Why NOT me" attitude when things (good OR bad) happen instead "why me?." It really helps the spirit!

3. Trusting God does make things work out! HAHA - That is TOTALLY what I've been working on this year, and when I can do it...it is SO true!

4. Avoiding snacks and toys in church....Well, lol...we do use those things in small quiet doses, so I can't really relate to what she wrote, aside from the fact we don't take in many toys, and when I had a baby shower for Lovely, someone told me to adopt the "shopping cart" mentality with church. "You NEVER want to let your kids out of the shopping cart or you'll never get them back in - same goes for the pew. Keep crawlers and walkers in your lap or the pew chairs because if they learn they can move around in the pews, then they'll really push your buttons in getting you to take them out, or distract others from welcoming your kids in church." It has worked for both my girls (who knows why!) and both are pretty calm church goers. If I have needed to stand up with a fussy little one - I usually don't have to go far, and I don't let them down. I just hold them, then come back and sit down. Our new pastor actually prefers us to STAY in the sanctuary. He doesn't like us being separated from Mass and welcomes the noises of children. How else will little ones learn if they can't be a part of the community (toys, snacks, books, and all). I LOVE that!!!!!!

5. Expecting others to fill you up....As a girl who battles this.....her #5 rule is SO true!!! Sometimes I look for affirmation from family members over and over and don't and get crushed. Only God is perfect and always there for you...so why do I stress? HAHA - easier for me to say than for me to do. I value others so much because of my past LOL! A new goal for 2010.....

6. "The root of stress is usually fear...." AMEN!!! That is a lesson I have figured out this year!!! I'm taking it with me to work on in 2010!

7. The Poop Fates...HAHA - this one was just too funny. And, a lesson I already learned. Poop, and anything else, can happen to you and the kids ANYTIME...hehehe! That REALLY goes for stomach bugs too! Never say never!

So thanks Jennifer for the reflection!!

Ok - so what am I resolving for 2010? Here are my goals (in no particular order):

1. To continue working on letting go, and trusting. If those anxieties take hold, I need to acknowledge them, then let them go somehow to God. That is true empowerment to me. I know I can do more growth here. Blogging, praying, and knowing who to talk to and challenge me helps as well.

2. Continue to put health on the list - cook better, eat better, exercise and encourage my family to do the same. 2009 was our best year yet for this - I know 2010 can rock this too!

3. Keep working on my prayer life, and praying with my Hubby and girls. It will help us all stay fresh and renewed.

4. THIS IS MY BIG ONE - last year, I worked on me dealing with the little crosses and letting go, letting God more. This year, I want also turn my focus of self improvement outward towards my spouse and family. I want to work on building up my family. So often I find myself treating others with more respect than my Hubby. I want to work on how I respond to my children's needs. I want to be secure in how they are being raised. I want to point out their talents as much as I point out their little friends' talents. I also want to make my extended family more of a priority with family time - even with the undercurrents of strive at times. Life is just TOO short. Sometimes the people we know love us unconditionally are the people we don't put 1st enough because they love us unconditionally. I want to improve that this coming year.

5. I want to continue making family traditions, discoveries, and values. 2009 has been such a blast exploring what worked for us and next year will be just as great, especially with a little newborn boy in the mix!

6. Looking to God to affirm me, not others. My love language is "words of affirmation" so this will be HARD to do (one of my hardest)....but I can't let those harsh comments get me down, or live for others. I need to blaze the trail I'm called to carve!

So there you have it....looking back to 2009, and looking ahead to 2010. I feel SO blessed! We never know how long we have, so today is all we can aim for...and I strive that each day we're given in 2010 will be a day I'm not taking for granted, and where I see all the rich blessings I've been given even in the small and big crosses which WILL come.

Much love and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Enjoy this fresh new start!!!