1st Anniversary of Grace

One year ago yesterday, my world exploded.

If I had access to my PC, I would link up to the story - it was my own "terrible awful".

But, God can take the terrible awfuls and surely make them amazing graces.

I am not really sure if by the world's standards we are really any better a year later. Even recent actions, struggles, and discoveries would let the world give my family and marriage a reasonable excuse to split up and be "better off". Why labor so hard at healing? None of us deserve to be yoked to this, right? Especially me, correct?

When we are wronged, we have every earthly reason to walk away and protect our hearts from further hurt. The world pulsates around the human condition and the conditions we live in. It is a conditional world, and I deserve to be happy.  So, it is reasonable for me to seek my happiness.

Except one thing...in this conditional world, I am called to be unconditional.

Because my children and I are not being physically, emotionally, or verbally abused, I am called to try to heal our union. Also...not just heal, but to grab the graces that come from marrying WITH God sacramentally to live out my vows daily - which include the human conditions of bad times, sickness, and being poor. The world would rather me focus on good times, good health, and riches. Those are reasonable.  The other human conditions? Totally unreasonable.

Well...it's a good thing our God is unreasonable. I was reminded this past Sunday that our God is beyond reason...or unreasonable. Loving us unconditionally is unreasonable! Why love someone who hurts us by turning from us, leads us astray, acts selfishly? Don't we all treat each other conditionally? Don't we treat God this way daily?

We give Christ every reasonable excuse for walking away from us...and He never WILL. He is always with us, getting us through what LIFE tosses us. He works through the trials with us, always forgives, and always redeems if we allow God to.
2 Timothy 2:13

He asks us to do the same. Not by making everyone our best friend - but to simply love. To be like Christ we love those made in God's image. Especially those we are joined with - those we take vows with. Working on forgiving those who wrong us in this world IS what love is.

SURPRISE! God is actually not concerned with our happiness, the world is. God doesn't want us happy...He wants us holy. Happy is easy. Holy is hard. But, the peace that comes from choosing right...living right...brings a happiness only peace can give. It gives us a joy only we can choose. I have so learned joy is a choice this year.

I am going to fail. I find myself getting angry when I hear of celebrity divorces. Why do they get a glamourous breakup while I am called to stay and work on my marriage? Why do they get new thrills of dating and the fun, flirty new feelings of a budding relationship on the grocery shelves? Why am I called to work this hard?  Why do I have to work at holiness? Why can't I just have happiness?

Then I think, maybe those divorces are not as glamourous as I think they are. Could it be repeated marriages and breakups show a heart looking for fulfillment someplace, any place, repeatedly? Could it be they really are looking for joy instead of happiness and don't realize it?

God has given me the graces to plow until the harvest.  I have all the just reasons to stay in my marriage. I am called to. I am called to work. I am in a season. Even when I am out if it, I will always have to work hard. But...the joy...oh the joy! All this, thanks to grace!

One thing holds me firm. To get this joy, this peace, a reclaimed journey to holiness the FIRST time around in marriage - making it my only marriage? What a rare gift. I know many of you reading this have had to travel the hard road of divorce (your own marriage(s), or your spouse traveled this road before meeting you, your parents, etc). I may never know your story - so don't see my determination to save my marriage as a judgement on your struggles. NEVER. I have a husband who wants to work on our marriage which is needed for our survival and not every woman or man has had that. We don't have reasons to flee at this time. I pray that continues. I have to be open to God's Will in this too. Discerning is so hard.  Thank God for GRACE and your prayers and support. Really. You have mine.

So, while this year started off started terribly awful, I also see this as an amazing year of grace. What will this next year hold? It's bound to be unreasonable!

Amen!

SO cool!

I have totally been privy today to how obvious God works through prayer. His presence was just amazingly obvious and His hand very clear. The really cool thing? None of my prayers were fully answered in the way I wanted (they still can be!!), yet I saw or felt His plan in motion at every turn. So, no matter if my prayers are answered MY way or not - it was still a day where He revealed Himself and reminded me, He's always there, whether I "feel" Him or not OR "get" what I want. How cool is that??!!!”

And, I totally know this happened, this boosted me and renewed my hope, because of YOUR prayers!!!

I can't wait to update you in the coming weeks!! I pray with more thanksgiving. If not, I'll just ask for prayers of acceptance. I'm always thankful days like today. How do people go through life without faith? 

Happy *sigh* today!

THANK YOU!!!

PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE!

Dearest Friends,

Tomorrow is a really big day for my husband. PLEASE pray for him at 4pm. Please? Please storm heaven for him.

I would have been more relaxed about tomorrow if we haven't had a harder week than I anticipated. Now, I need this FOR him. I need this for ME. We kinda need this for US.

I'm praying God's timing agrees with my timing!

Maybe we just need to pray we are stay within His Will?

In any case. Please pray. THANK YOU!!!

Oh - if you need some inspiration...turn this song up and go clean something as you pray....LOL!! Go shake heaven!! Get His attention! :)

Sigh.

There is a total and WONDERFUL reason the Catholic faith makes marriage a sacrament. The extra graces we receive from the sacrament makes staying, working hard, and working through, more possible because you are less alone.

Just sayin. It's one of those days. Pray for me, and I'll pray for you.

Body of Christ! Hooah!

NINE??

Look at my incredible nine year old...all ready for a bday date with her Godmother today.
More on this occasion and more festivities to come....

I think I just took a picture of Prayers and God meeting...

and with Mary as the intercessor...well..she just made it beautiful!

~ Praying the 1st Joyful Mystery on our first homeschool co-op meeting date.

Prayer Requests for You, for Others.

There are some people suffering and in need of my prayers more than my family this weekend. PLEASE read the following links and offer prayers this weekend. Also, if we can pray for you - please comment!

Angela Faddis as she faces the ultimate healing by God very soon.

Rachael B's sister, BIL, and their hopefully adopted baby boy.

Baby Pearl - defying "incompatible with life."

Anna - facing the one year anniversary of this post.  (a story not unlike what one of my closest friends, the Godmother of Lovely, faced in high school. I read back to last year and think of J and her family and all those feelings from their dark days come back). As a mother, I can't imagine what Anna is facing daily (but with such GRACE) and J's mother.

I have other intentions - for a friend facing confusing illness. For a beloved member of my family facing congestive heart failure, for another friend about to give birth, and for all my incredible friends and family and their intentions.

JMJ.

Sorry to be MIA

Goodness - almost a month from my last post? Tsk. Tsk.

I just wanted to say we are still mired in the mysterious situation I've begged for prayers on. Thank you for those prayers, as they are working to lighten my anxiety. I swear, I started feel much better after posting and getting my prayer circles to action. The situation is not much better, but stable. I still need prayers...many prayers, to stay afloat the next many weeks.

It's been pretty incredible. While this trial is far from fun, the peace I've gotten from at least know where we stand is amazing. I really attribute that to the prayers.

I hope to get back on later and post about Lovely's NINTH birthday this week, the start of Valiant in preK at home, and the end of our summer (the BEST summer of our lives. Seriously. It was also the busiest, and I'm still recovering).

Until that moment comes, thank you for the prayers. Sorry to be vague. Sorry to be MIA. I so appreciate you all!