Personal Disclaimer

Hey All! I just need some therapy release posting. So, I'm making a disclaimer for my past week and weekend. Blogging is such a HELP.

You know how I KNOW when pregnancy hormones (coupled with my daily anxiety issues that happen any time lol) are afoot?

When I've had:

~ a great week, with wonderful friends and time with my family.
~ a wonderful friend and her kids come stay the weekend with my family. A friend who, like my friends here, really understands me and accepts me - even when I'm "losing it" lol.
~ a fabulous husband who is such a help.
~ quality time to read, nap, pray, and reflect when I feel stressed and hormonal....
~ a wonderful time with my parents and family - and know deep down how blessed I am by them even when things can be tough.
~ a BLAST at the local indoor water park!
~ a great girlie movie night and fun family moments with our friends this weekend.

And I STILL end up feeling:

~ scatterbrained.
~ slow to act on things I need to do (like I'm slow processing things).
~ over-talkative to EVERYONE.
~ down.
~ tired no matter what time of day it is.
~ an inconsistent parent on display.
~ ANXIOUS (about my house, my actions, my words, my "am I enough" voices in my head).
~ insecure.
~ wondering if I'm only feeling this way because of hormones, lack of rest, my "usual personal issues" - or if people ARE noticing these things that see me daily. Or, do they not notice, but my running mouth (or apologies, etc) calls their attention to it. I promise, I'm working on it if you have.

So, it has to be pregnancy related to feel this burdened currently. So much is pumping through my body now. I'm also more emotional when nursing too. It's like all my feelings are put under a magnifying glass and I feel them even more. It's frustrating.

Anyways....

I feel I never could relax myself with family and friends this week and with my incredible friend C while she was here. I was on edge, anxious, and insecure. I just want to relax, but can't seem too. I have this HUGE urge to both nest, nest, nest, clean, clean, clean, and then....nap, nap, nap. Napping wins, so I feel behind, and then I just feel my week goes kaput. I just wanted a good weekend for my friends too - and I hope they did get it.

Anyhow - not sure how to word it. But I haven't really been "all there" or I have had my emotional moments. I regret them, and am trying to regain my footing. It just is my week, and I wanted to just toss it out there. It helps to blog it here and release it. Really.

So, for what it is worth - thanks for reading it and playing along. Gotta love these last emotional weeks of pregnancy! So exciting, confusing, and magnifying at the same time!!

Much love (and thanks)!