Blah

Nothing to really report. Busy today and tomorrow. I'm feeling very restless, nervous, tired, and emotional. I'm sure a lot of it is nerves due to playing the violin in a concert (it's been a while since I've been in a recital hall) but I'm feeling overwhelmed, nervous, and anxious. I feel like I talked too much, said the wrong things again, made people feel badly and can't shake it - even with the sunshine outside. I'm looking forward to some reflective time tonight at our Lenten prayer service after the dress rehearsal tonight. Maybe everything will be better after tomorrow night's performance. I hope so. I hate feeling out of control - even when I know I shouldn't feel this way and none of us are ever in control ("Hi God! It's me, ViolinMama") but I do. And the above doesn't make a lot of sense, but it is what is weighing down my heart.

We had our Captivating book discussion today, and the chapters we discussed talked about inner and outer beauty that comes from inner calm and peace. I wish I could channel some of that today. So, I'm not feeling that womanly beauty today. It would bless me, and bless others around me if I could. I feel like I'm faking the optimism, calm, and smiles today. *sigh*

I just got the baby down for her nap. Time to get Lovely in her room for quiet time, then I need to practice!