How much info?

So, let's take a quick break from my big, but "first world" problems of late. I have a question for any readers out there who want to jump in and comment.

Where is the line between lying and sharing - and I mean too much info about what happened with our house and the fall out from all that? 

As we pray about moving to a more long term home and we look around, I'm finding that as we meet people (some, potential new friends in these new areas) and tell them we are looking for a home, so many are asking "So, did you sell your home already?"

Now, I'm a "heart on my sleeve" type of girl, and most IRLers would tell you readers I probably overshare about my life - I'm just too ready to connect, be honest, and don't lie well (I still sin by lying though! Argh!) . This happened to me fresh out of our move and when I was in the turbulent waters of confusion - how did I lose my home, who was I married to, etc. I went to the library for a baby program, and a new mom I met there heard me mention we had just moved, and she asked where, etc. Then she was like "how did you sell your home so fast?" I guess I was just too vague with my answers (she kept pressing) and instead of being able to change the subject or just end it well - I quietly muttered "forclosure" - which she still couldn't hear, so I had to say it louder. Oh - I felt shame. I think she did too for having pressed so hard. I really do. I doubt she ever  does that again. I harbor no ill will to her.

I have not had a situation like that since where I have to explain anything. I HAVE run into people or professionals in our community (doctors/dentists/businesses all my family shares around town) that have known because a close family member(s) told them we were foreclosed on. One family member went into detail about what my husband did (NOT ok at all. That is "by permission" only. We don't need the community to hold a grudge!), another one told a professional we were foreclosed on. Not really what I wanted either (I would have happily moved and not shared with the world why we moved to a new home - is that lying for now?). I tend to think I'm sensitive about who talks about the foreclosure because how it happened, not that it did happen. I wonder if I'd be much more open talking about losing our home if I had known a year or two before, liked most normal owners? I feel much more protective of the truth because of being protective of my husband, I know that for a fact!

Anyways, back to the present. As I've mentioned, we are discerning and preparing for a possible move to a more permanent home finally, after almost a year of recovery. And, in doing so, we are in new communities, and meeting new people who we will potentially see on a daily basis - even becoming friends. I found myself being asked over and over by these people this week alone about our house, and how did we sell it so quickly. I should have been more prepared. I found myself saying "we've sold it over a year ago, and have been renting ever since." Other times I said we "got rid of it a year ago, and renting." or "We were able to move out and start renting about a year ago." That last one is the best answer to avoid lying, but it gets the more probing questions. In this market, everyone wants to know "how we did it" without renting it out. Sigh.
Lies. All lies.


I just don't want to give the real story until we really know and trust these potential new friends (and I sure hope they will be!). But, how do I do it without lying?

Oh - amazingly, one of these new friends is a fellow blogger and reader of my blog - WHAT A SMALL WORLD. She completely recognized me and laughed about knowing "Gift, Valiant, and Lovely!" (how thankful am I now that I do code names, and so does this new blogger friend. We both like knowing people can't call our kids by their real names). I won't reveal her until later, but this sweet woman has not said a word to me, or anyone I was around, about the real story. She must be reading this post. She probably has been this whole time. What a generous heart she (you, you know who you are) has. My husband and I have been totally happy with blogging our journey to healing - not many IRL friends know this blog exists, because it is so personal, but we want to share our journey somehow to heal. I normally know who reads though, but she and I had not commented on each others' blogs in months, so I was caught by surprise she knew me.  I was wildly excited though, and she is totally amazing. I'm really hoping I can see her more often now. But, she probably heard me being vague/lying to the new friends around us (HER friends). She may even wonder why I'm doing it. I feel so torn up inside! I'm a liar. I promise I'm just trying to protect my husband most. And yes, there is shame in it too. I'm scared of being judged if we simply say "we lost our home to foreclosure, and now we're looking into being your neighbors."

So, do you have any advice on how to navigate what to say, how much to say, and how to avoid saying things that could be hurtful to my husband? I know one day, if I grow closer to the people we have been meeting, I may share many details of losing our home (not all, and I'm sure you ca guess which parts I'll leave out), but I'll want to come "clean". I welcome all comments - even my more quiet readers and new friends, LOL!

How much info should be shared? How can I do it well and honorably? I should have asked this months ago.

Thanks! Blessings!!

P.S. I am praying that one day, we will be able to share all of the details, maybe as a sharing couple in Retrouvaille, etc. I just don't know if we are there yet. We are getting there. Pray for us!!!