In Love :) Also, waiting for balance...

Life is soooo wonderful! I'm blessed with a great, growing family, and what seems to be another easy going baby. I'm not sure how I've deserved this. Maybe typing this will jinx me and reality will hit? hehe.

Gift even seems to know day and night, and figured it out early. Now, this does not mean I'm sleeping at night - he still LOVES to eat, and eat....and eat. But, it is so strange to not have to walk the house at night with a confused baby. Strange...but awesome! No complaints here. In fact, I feel sheepish sharing when I have "down" moments because things are going so well. Parenting wise, I feel really relaxed - I think being relaxed helps your baby feel relaxed? Or maybe the more kids one has, the easier babyhood gets? I've never felt more blessed either. I love our growing family...we all seem to be here for a reason. In fact, if we simply had a bigger car and could afford the bigger car now, I might be tempted to try and have another baby sooner....our family is really gel-ing (gelling?). But I know an easy newborn helps those feelings exist...otherwise I could be more stressed and pulling my hair out. Plus, I just love the newborn phase. I could just keep having newborns to just snuggle with and love on and breathe their baby smells....hehe!!

There IS a flipside to being in love...I'm getting tired of the progesterone plummet. I am feeling EVERY thing 2000% more, and each baby makes me forget how sensitive I get postpartum until they arrive and the hormones hit for a time. Then, talking about it makes me feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I'm not horribly depressed, or even really down - it's still those anxieties and worries. It's just those baby blues. The pesky blues. If friends come over to visit, or I talk - I'm not down. I get a real boost. Close friends may even wonder if I'm really blue-sy since I'm happy to see them and talk lol. It just the timing. I actually went about 3 days feeling great, and I was hoping the hormone balance was back - but today they hit again...so BOO! Most of it seems to come when I think too hard about being fully present for our older kids. Lovely really does not like it when I doze off, or take naps, and Valiant really likes when I can do things with her - but as a healing, nursing, "not getting 5-8 hours sleep anymore" mom - it is difficult to be fully "with it" 2 weeks after the baby is here. I feel like I'm letting them down, missing great moments, etc. But...hubby came to the rescue, and we decided to get out and about to help all of us. We went to the mall to walk, people watch, fountain watch (Lovely LOVES to watch the big fountain lol), go to the book store, and practice packing our small family car with 3 kids in it LOL!

We'll have to be creative until we can get a van. We talked to our pediatrician and got some tips for how to fit Lovely in our car while keeping her safe, yet her weight/height/age being legal enough to not need a booster if we can belt her in appropriately. That way there is more room for the other car seats. If we don't like what we're doing now, we'll try some carseats meant for triplets hehe. I'm just a carseat snob so figuring out what to do with out 6 1/2 year old and doing it SAFELY is my biggest worry. It is VERY hard to for me to let her not be in some sort of seat...but apparently there are safe options out there her doctor approves of, that firemen mention, etc. Mommy just needs to trust them..ha. ha. ha.

It was SO NICE to get out. Here are some funny pics from our "Clown Car" - where we arrive somewhere and we keep piling out of a tiny care, hehe!


Hubby packing a double stroller in!


Our Back Seat O' Kids...


It was a good day. Now, I need to sneak back to bed....baby is back to sleep! I need to take advantage. My "me" moments come at weird times now, hehe! Still working on the birth story....that takes more time and thought it seems....

Sweet dreams!

"increased likelihoods"

One of my favorite blog reads (the mom, Kelle, is amazing, her photography is amazing, her outlook is amazing, and her family is amazing) put some of the feelings I've been feeling for 6 1/2 years into words, and I'd like to share them with you. It's about becoming a parent. Even though she talks about pregnancy, I know those touched by adoption can completely agree too.

"...here's the thing. Once you become a parent...once you start feeling a little funny and you buy that pregnancy test...once you see a pink plus sign...once you know it's not just you anymore...well, you automatically carry around, for the rest of your life, an increased likelihood. To have your heart broken. And it's a constant fear that we struggle to put to rest.

And we can choose to be afraid or we can choose to live. And I choose to live. Because an "increased likelihood of having your heart broken" also carries with it an increased likelihood to find yourself the happiest you've ever been in life. "

Every day I have little voices in my private "back burner" - I worry about childhood illnesses, accidents, playing outside, playing inside, safety, strangers, my health, hubby's health, living to see them as adults and parents too....etc, etc, etc. You name it, I worry about it. Add postpartum hormones in the mix, and it is no longer back burner - but all consuming! But, Kelle, who knows what she is talking about, is right. No matter the worries that seep into our hearts as parents - either we choose to worry about what we have NO control over, or we can choose to LIVE. Choose to love LIFE, the day to day moments with our kids and spouse. Because honestly I have WAY more "increased likelihoods" of happiness than brokenness. And, my purpose in life is to ENJOY and embrace them. If the brokenness comes, I will be given the strength and faith to handle it somehow - but until then, I choose to LIVE.

Thanks for the reminder Kelle. Life IS beautiful.

I wish you increased likelihoods of happiness this long weekend. Blessings!

Wordless Wednesday "MORE Newborn Teasers"

Newborn Pics - teasers

My friend M came back to take more pics for her business (one will remember ALL those maternity pics I posted a few weeks back LOL). We have loved being her test subjects. Apparently our family fits all the categories she likes to photograph - hehe. She wants to do Family, Maternity, Newborn, and Lifestyle photography and has such a great eye and talent.

She just sent two teasers from her Saturday visit (she likes to take newborn pics within the 1st 8 days of birth to capture that newness of a baby....). I can already tell all the pics will be fabulous! Here is why:





These pictures show why God is SOOOO Good! I love my family....

Baby Moon

Just more pictures from our baby moon with Gift. It's been wonderful - little man just eats, sleeps, and makes diapers. We're so grateful for this schedule. He is absolutely stunning and loves being held by mommy and daddy. He doesn't like being away from anyone...just wants to be a part of our family. What a TOTAL love. It's been so GOOD to have him here. I was so excited to meet him, and get to know him. Precious little soul.

It's so weird, I still feel like, even with being home with the whole family, that I'm "missing" everything. I think it is how I feel the "blues" with each baby. I get more anxious than depressed, so I start worrying about everything. Bills, job stability, accidents, being there for my kids, putting the baby down for a break (like blogging or e-mailing pics to family, or napping) but feeling guilty for doing so and missing my time with the baby or my girls or husband. And yes, tears are shed for unknown reasons - but I think that is par for the 'postpartum' course. (Oh, I did cry the other day when our birdhouse fell in a storm. It was full of eggs. I saw the parents nearby too after we saw the broken house, so I'm praying they return and can save a few of the eggs in the broken birdhouse).

To battle the blues I AM napping more. Because rest is what helps heals those hormone fluctuations. I just don't want to "wish for the time when routine is back and we're sleeping, etc" because that will mean having a baby who is more developed and bigger - and I ADORE the newborn phase - the grunts, newborn sounds, the constant fetal position, etc. It never comes back, and I want to savor it - I just dislike feeling down while I try to enjoy it. But, when I am rested, I do love it and I feel it!

Here are some pics - I wanna post them so I can get back to my family - the best medicine!! :)

Here is Gift talking to the Angels in his sleep - thus the smile (and his Godmommy told me about this..I LOVE that explanation!!)

(I'm wearing a nursing tank BTW - not something risque LOL) Just the man and I enjoying a moment with his tiny self!! I love this stage!!

Savoring my gift....

Lovely dressed and ready for her last day Awards Ceremony for Kindergarten - SNIFF SNIFF for mommy!!

Lovely with her back pack - striking a pose!

Baby Val loving on her baby brother!!

Me loving on Baby Val - so sweet!!

And here is the birdhouse and bird eggs I pray still will hatch...poor family. I feel for the new mommy...from one mother to another...




I hope as I'm able, and feel like I can, write up our birth story recap! So stay tuned!!! Much love and blessings!

Quiet and Rest Shall Be your Strength...

Isaiah 30:15.








Peace...even in the baby blues....and in the baby moon. What a mixture for the emotions!!!

PAX all!

Small Successes and Thankful Thursday - "BABY!!!" Edition

Well, he's here!!!! My biggest success of the past week!!

Our precious son, known here as "Gift" (we like to do meaning of the names here), was born last Friday. The blog has been sorely neglected as we love on our son and our growing family. But I have so much to share. As soon as I have time, I want to chronicle the events of last Thurs/Friday. But, Gift was born last Friday at 2:45am and was 8 lbs 12 oz. What a birth, and what a GIFT!!! We feel so blessed. He loves to be cuddled, loves to nurse every 30 minutes, and is a total love. We're over the moon. God IS Good!

I wish I had more time to post, but below are some new pictures (see the post before this one for other pics) of our little man and family. Thanks for the thoughts, kind words, and prayers!!!!






Thankful Thursday
This week I am most grateful for...

1. A gorgeous son!!
2. a safe pregnancy and delivery.
3. our girls being so welcoming of their brother.
4. the love and support of our family.
5. our friends bringing us meals!
6. naps.
7. so MANY things I can't remember to name because I'm just so excited!!

I'd better get back to my little man....so in love!! Blessings!