So, we have this plan for 2013 to move out of this condo and into a rental home. We lost a little time/$ in the job move/paycut of last summer, but still seemed on plan for a move this summer. I get asked all the time when the kids will get a yard, etc (even asked by friends at the church's Lenten fish dinner, my sister, parents, etc). I admit, it puts pressure on me. Or rather....I ALLOW it to pressure me. I give words and people power.
Problem is, husband is having some doubts on the time table. It's good he is being cautious, and while I'm all for eating beans and rice so we can move - he wants to be more realistic. So, we are trying to compromise, plan a NEW budget, try to find a plan that works for us.
I just need prayers. I very much want to do what keeps our family afloat - I just battle having the life sucked out of me in our current location. I have selfish emotional needs that are just drowning here. I yearn for a small yard for the kids, and a safe neighborhood. I yearn for energy that comes from feeling I'm on the right path, and I feel so stunted here now. This condo was supposed to be for short term recovery...and we are still here a year and half later. It's all me. The kids and Hubby are content here (well, Hubby is not fully, but he feels relief from his past stress here. Lovely does ask every other day when we are moving...but she is easily distracted).
So I need encouragement to stay positive, and prayers for acceptance that ultimately, God has this...and Hubby and I need to listen and make smart decisions.
Oh...how it helps to blog these feelings, instead of bottling them up. In real life, I feel like a never ending broken record (or would be, if I let myself say them out loud).
Blessings to you! Always post your prayer needs in the com box. I need reminders and reasons to pray!!
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I'll pray for you when I'm at Mass tomorrow. Sometimes it's not a bad thing if things get pushed back. It stinks when you have others putting pressure on you, but you just need to not let them get to you. It's better to wait until the time is right than to rush. I know 18 months probably seems like a long time to you right now, but in the scheme of things, if you have to wait another 6-12 months to move it's probably not the end of the world. Hang in there. I'm praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI know what it's like. There are so many times I just wish life would go back to normal and we can have some stability in our life rather than trying to put my husband through school. I know tons of people here who have large families in 2 or 3 bedroom apartments and the kids all do well, but I'm sure the moms wish they had more space, a back yard, etc. It's only normal. I'll be praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Karen said. Your "short" time may not be God's "short" time - while 18 months seems like a long time, if it's 2 years, or 3 years, and then you're in a house for 20 years after that it's not such a long time after all. Plus, you've been praying and praying that Matt will be the financial leader in your house and make some important decision for his family, so you need to listen to him and let him take the lead. Nothing wrong with stating your wishes and opinion in a discussion with him and hammering it out together, but in the end, God made him the head of your household for a reason, and you need to let him be just that. Your belief in him to make the right decisions, especially after all that happened, is paramount to healing your marriage and your family.
ReplyDeleteYou've gotten some wonderful encouragement here! You continue to be in my thoughts & prayers! One thing I've learned (or am trying to learn) is that God really does hear & answer our prayers. It usually not the way or when we want, but He does answer. Sending lots of hugs & prays, my friend!
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