Ugh. I wish well meaning people would just be careful of their comments. I'm trying to find some grace and just ignore, but oooooooh that is hard for me.
I'll just say, I wish I could make my house look so radiant on the inside AND outside, that as we add children to our family, we look like we can "handle it" vs. "it's too much for you."
I tell them, as I tell you - 1) I think my house looks pretty darn good, and my husband gets to the yard when he can and does pretty darn well with it when he can tend to it. and 2) We also choose to delight in time with our kids instead of constant chores - homeschooling, play time, snuggle time, reading time, movies....because this TIME IS SHORT. They will be too old for us one day and not want to delight in us so much. I can have the perfect house and yard then.
That said...I do wish I could make things look better so when we tell people "we're expecting" they are happy too, not doubtful.
UGH! I don't live for the world (or try not to!!!) but their words still affect me so. I'm mad at myself too! I should just ignore....but I can't. So, now I'll write...release....and move on.....
Hey, You, reading this....have a good day!! LOL!
(I also wish I could say "yes" to their offer of help....but it is what is BEHIND their offer of help that leads me to declining. Saying yes would welcome more stress than I need.)
*** NOTE: I'm not expecting. When we told people we were expecting baby Gift, some people were truly unkind in their reactions. We just want more children if we can have them, and we are not surrounded by people who value bigger families. I just don't want to go through that again, and I'm still working on letting go the pain of those reactions from Gift. Now, the comments on my house as I homeschool, and have 3 young children, just get to me too. They offer help, but having them help would cause me more stress. Maybe one day when this blows over....***
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BIG HUGS!! And, is Gift expecting a little brother or sister? If so, HOORAY!
ReplyDeleteSpend time with your children. Love them. You ARE doing the right thing!!! A house is a thing. A yard is a thing. Your children are people.
Sounds to me like your priorities are spot on!
Thanks Girlie! So much! You always say the kindest things. How are you doing and your schedule?
ReplyDeleteOh - I'm NOT pregnant!! Just open to another one day...some people were not too thrilled Gift was coming, so I was connecting that to the comments above...
Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWishing a wonderful day marinating in the moments of being with your littles loves.
Gotcha. I got a little confused, but I know that you want a big family... so I was not at all surprised if you were pregnant again. You're such a great mom, it just made sense to me.
ReplyDeleteThings are going well in my neck of the woods. Just trudging along -- and NOT cleaning my house or folding the laundry or blowing the leaves. Instead, when I'm not at work or in school, I'm enjoying my family!!! ;oP
I think you're the second blogger in a week to have me wondering if you're expecting when you aren't. I must be trying to read into things these days. Don't worry about what people think. I love to have a perfectly kept home but it's simply not possible while we are actually living in the house. I spend too much time when my little one was a baby trying to keep a perfectly neat home and I missed out on a lot of time that I could have been holding her or just playing.
ReplyDeleteDitto to what tesstrue said...you've got your priorities straight! {{HUGS}} from me too!
ReplyDeleteHi, We all make our own decisions and as long as you are comfortable with the choices you have made for your life, don't let others opinions stand in your way or ruin your day. I know it is hard to brush off comments when they hit you at the core but surround yourself with the people who do love you and respect your choices. Just because someone else wouldn't want that for themselves, does not ever mean it is wrong for you. Keep your head up and take a look at your three kids -- they are the only reminder you need! Hugs, Kira
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I am with you all the way. We have just had our third child and I am managing to keep them all fed, clean, dressed, bathed and in bed by a reasonable time most days which is an achievement in itself! We are a happy family and that is what matters. There is always going to be a basket of laundry needing folding, some toys needing putting away. It's difficult to feel neutral when others have higher (read = impossible) standards re the household than we even aspire to. Every time my mother in law comes round she looks at stuff and asks "surely there must be something I can do for you/help you with." Actually, no - I can live with a little bit of chaos, and I don't see things through those eyes. Don't let it get you down ViolinMama and yes, it's difficult to keep the grace coming in this sort of situation!
ReplyDelete"Well, you know what I think, Jenn-ay... I think you should go back home to Greenbow ALABAMA!" ;-) All that to say: you DO know my opinion on this. And my opinion is that you are GRRREEAT! I love you lots :)
ReplyDelete