Comments I didn't need today.

~ Our computer's screen saver flashes all the pictures on our drive. They go back to when Lovely was around 2 years old and we went digital. Tonight she came up and whispered to me "Wow mommy, there was just a picture of you and you were so...ummm.... (very hushed) thin."
     A) That is just plain disturbing to know how body image aware she is at age 8.
     B) Sad she can see the effects of my comfort eating of late.
     C) My Zumba workouts are not working fast enough for my liking.
     D) Sigh. My daughter may not be feeling any of the stress in the house (so far, she seems not to be too affected as we play it cool pretty well at home. Family time was never our problem!), but she can SEE it on me, even if she does not understand it.

~ When speaking to a close family member on the phone tonight, it was heavily implied that this person approved of the idea of marital separation and possible divorce through the situation of a cousin (we just learned he is separated. His wife wants a divorce, but he does not want to grant it, but fight for the marriage) because  my family member stated "some things can not be undone." Aside from the fact my close family member has spent countless conversations dogging this extended family (not just the cousin) and their choices of job, spouse, etc. and how too many of them marry only to divorce and don't work hard to work it out  - this close relative NOW says separation is good? I called  them on it. This particular person they were talking about actually would not sign any divorce papers because of their belief. I commented how proud I was of that - my family member said "Well, vows are important, but blood needs to be thicker than water."

While I would have loved to go more in depth on my relative's theory in the above sentence, I had to stop this line of discussion. I have to create boundaries. Hubby hurt and angered us all. He wronged me. Because our family is one that helps each other in more ways than one, they have all felt wronged by his decisions and betrayal. But, my family has to understand that in order for me to pick up the pieces of my own life, I can't pick up their pieces too.

If I take on their mantle of pain and anger - how will I ever heal my own? I know blood is thicker than water, but when two people marry they become family. Hubby and I made a covenant and created a BLOODLINE that would eventually, with God's help, flow in our children. I don't think one can 'water down' marriage. This situation is not an impossible one to come back from. When ending the discussion, I said I believe that working out a marriage should be the ultimate goal for every couple. My family member stated that "maybe it is easier for the person in the marriage to get over it than for their family members." I can understand that statement. If this ever happened to Lovely or Valiant, or if Gift did this to his wife and family - I would be seething and broken hearted for my child and grandchildren. But, I would pray I could respect the fact that this didn't happened directly to me, but something they need to resolve in their marriage and barring any abuse, I should pray for reconciliation and support their union. Right? Or am I just a hopeless romantic?

So, these were comments I didn't need today. Sigh.